Group challenge screen showing it completed with me contributing nothing.

Whoa, guys, leave some Pokemon for me.

a man in a suit and tie is sitting in front of a screen that says pick a corked item ALT: a man in a suit and tie is sitting in front of a screen that says pick a corked item

No Wham!mies!

[Morpheus holding out a piece of brittle in each hand]

What is the point of Daylight Saving Time? It's exhausting having to "fall back" every night and then "spring forward" again every morning.

I have it on good authority that they're solely into missionary.

Profile picture of black cat head

Black cat with golden eyes, facing the camera

Happy caturday. This little girl has so much hair in front of her ears.

Due to the meteor strike, there are no meteors on the job, so we won't see any.

"I will never give a straight or non sycophantic answer regarding the president."

A white ibis and a yellow crowned night heron stand together on a neighbor's lawn.

He has a friend this morning.

a man sitting at a table says it 's not a lie .. Alt: George Costanza (from Seinfeld) telling Jerry, "It's not a lie if you believe it." Jerry nods.

That's the Costanza Rule.

Happy for you!

"Why didn't you give me a cool name like Rocket?" my son asks.
"I tried, Outboard, I really tried."

A peachy pink daylily with a bright yellow green throat in evening light

First daylily open.

[at a spider wedding]

congratulations to the newlywebs

All o' my duds
'N' all o' my misses
They said not to follow, but you didn't listen
Oh boy

You know who else told people to touch grass?

Reminder: if it happens to you it happens to me. #love

Yellow crowned night heron standing on a concrete walk surrounded by grass with a brick wall of a house in the background

Yellow crowned night heron on a neighbor's walk this morning.

French toast, ~6 weeks (half a loaf at a time) for morning tea on Sundays
(Tu/Th/Sa morning tea we have the ends of the sandwich and sourdough loaves with tea.)

Yogurt, ~1 week, added to cereal milk for breakfast
Kefir, ~1 week, same
Muffins, ~8 weeks, with morning tea on Mondays
Waffles, ~10 weeks, with morning tea on Weds
Banana bread, ~8 weeks, morning tea, Fri
Challah bread, ~12 weeks, to make French toast

I think I make something almost every day, just to have it on hand. Things I make, and how often and why:
Sandwich bread every 10 days, we have sandwiches for lunch 5 days a week.
Sourdough bread every 10 days, I have it with peanut butter for lunch 5 days a week.
Peanut butter, ~3 weeks, lunches

people marvel at my signature dish which involves torching a block of cheese i call a brie l’arson

When you discover you dress like a budget hotel hallway.

It can't be.

Does the carpet match the wallpaper?

"I'm chilly."

"Well, put on a spacesuit."

Maybe he meant he needs it read out loud to him.

How did they replace us as the world's policeman?

I pluck 'em. Is she up for that?

Is your mom available?