Comic of the beetle from the cover of Massive Attack's "Mezzanine" meeting the crab from the cover of The Prodigy's "Fat of the Land".

Hi this joke is for me

Lynne Thigpen as "The Chief" from Where In Time Is Carmen Sandiego

Lock the fuck in, Gumshoes. Carmen Sandiego stole a priceless wax pressing of "One of These Nights" by the Eagles. You've got to stop her before she travels back in time to 149 BC Carthage and trades it to Scipio Africanus the Younger for a kilo of the good shit.
*Rockapella bops on stage*

Salute to an all-time tweet

teaaaa

Thirty percent of all hospitals in Oregon now refuse to provide lifesaving medical treatment to trans people. Not just gender affirming care to minors. They discriminate against ALL Trans people.

I'm Caesar Shy and I'm too nervous to even enter the strip club

no one who has been credibly accused of sexual harassment or sexual assault should be in positions of power. this includes Al Franken, this includes Rep Swalwell, this includes Joe Biden, this includes Minneapolis police chief Brian O'Hara, this includes every harasser, assaulter, and rapist

A drawing of a Muppet-y Cloud Strife riding on a Big-Bird-like chocobo.

From this day in 2021: My nephews were curious about Final Fantasy after seeing a Moogle I drew and I described Chocobos as looking "kind of like Big Bird" so then I had to draw it.

Alex says "well, economy's fucked. Time to start camming." She asks herself "what's my niche?" She gets an idea. She has set up a sexual version of Cow Tools. Her friend says "I don't get it..."

Fox, MY HUSBAND IS DEAD. I don't want to remarry. I only want SEX. See my pussy (Press the C down button)

"It is not hope. It is the specific exhaustion of people who have been denied hope for so long that the mere postponement of catastrophe registers as reprieve. We celebrated nothing. We simply exhaled."

YOU: Hi my name is [name]. I’m calling from [ZIP CODE]. YOU: Today, President Trump said that “a whole civilization will die tonight” if Iran does not meet his deadline to reopen the Strait of Hormuz. That rhetoric is extreme, dangerous, and disqualifying. 
FOR THOSE W/ DEM ELECTEDS: I’m asking [ELECTED OFFICIAL] to publicly condemn this rhetoric and use every available procedural tool to stop further escalation, including support for impeachment and urgent public pressure on congressional leadership. FOR THOSE W/ GOP ELECTEDS: I’m asking [ELECTED OFFICIAL] to publicly condemn this rhetoric, press the administration and cabinet to treat this as disqualifying conduct. YOU: Calling this what it is matters. Even if removal is difficult, elected officials should treat rhetoric like this as unfit and dangerous. YOU: [OPTIONAL COMMENTS]

Script.

two of the hardest things ever written are "face god and walk backwards into hell" and "you cannot kill me in a way that matters"

one of them came from a tumblr shitpost and the other one came from a dril tweet about hollering at zoo animals

the internet truly is a magical place

The planet Jupiter with its cloud bands seen in shades of pink, rusty red, blue, and purple. The Great Red Spot is a deep navy blue, surrounded by bands and swirls of pink, and light blue.

Hubble's ultraviolet view of Jupiter shows the planet in hues of pink and blue.

jupiter wishes you a very happy trans day of visibility 🏳️‍⚧️

This week was quite something (weeks ago mom caught a sinus infection and last week tried to speedrun it by using an expired neti pot with tap water and ended up in the hospital with 3 infections) (I have spent this time mom-proofing the house by throwing away everything expired)

Might be the greatest opening paragraph of anything ever.

Indian mermaids

“Since the IOC began allowing the participation of transgender athletes in 2004, only one openly transgender woman has competed at the Olympics, a weightlifter from New Zealand who did not make it past her opening round of competition at the Tokyo Games.”

One.

when I tell you this t-shirt I just found in a thrift store was the best six dollars I've ever spent

I like to envision it playing a theremin

Toxtricity

Mega Audino

Clefairy

Serperior

my babies

I think that if you're a parent and you want your child to experience a world of wizards and magic, you should get them into heavy metal

Yesterday the Indian government removed people's right to self-identify as transgender

The fact that this did made no news, even on LGBTQ focused sites like Pink News is just insane.

read redwall or something, nothing wrong with overly british animals going on adventures and making crumpets

I can't even with fantasy literature anymore, but I'm so so glad I'm reading all sorts of books now, I wish this illiteracy crisis wasn't a thing, more people should really try reading for fun

oh man the h*rry p*tter reboot deliberately doing tokenism casting just like with that godawful rings of power show just pisses me off so hard im clawing at the moon

Everybody: Harry Potter directly funds a genocide against trans people

39 year old with a horcrux tattoo who beats their children for getting sorted to Ravenclaw on a buzzfeed quiz: Dobby died for our sins. I have to buy HBO max

I don't really think your opinion on Harry Potter has any intrinsic moral valence, but c'mon, you should really not be giving Rowling money or attention if you care at all about trans rights, y'know? She's not an author with bad opinions, she's a full-time political activist who used to write books.

are so many recent movies just 'fine' or is it my depression: an essay by me

this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to put on a tactical vest and go to the newark airport at 6 am on monday. your order is to wander around like a confused oaf. when a mom drops her sandwich at jersey mike's and scares you, pull out your gun and start shooting. good luck soldier