i ordered a new selkie dress for my bday (early so it’d for sure be here for the party (and i’m selling the old one)) and it’ll be here on MONDAY 🫠

hiring a tarot reader for my bday party and paying them extra to pull the lovers for me and all my crushes

i want it to give high school sleepover/mall vibes with makeovers and seances and 7 minutes in heaven etc

officially my bday party is going to be Forbidden Fruits (2026) themed and there will be a confessional booth, get ready to confess your crush on me (or whatever, just an example)

topless in the kitchen the way god intended

i’m still eating kiwis if u even care

kiwi date where u feed me kiwi

i can’t stop eating kiwi

OH im not actually a doctor 😭😂 im just a silly lil guy

don’t worry, i’m a doctor!

1000% 😈

Oh no, my bank accounts have been looted and emptied! All because I trusted the wrong person (me)

luckily those aren’t sexually transmitted 😂

lol i will be 💖 i have had pregnancy anxiety when the last time i could’ve gotten pregnant was 6 months prior 😅 i got brain worms

this is why i bought a 50 pack of pregnancy test strips 🙏💖 ✨anxiety✨

me, experiencing nausea, 4 days after having sex with someone with a penis: omg im pregnant

if i had to go horror movie style i think i would like to get it follows’ed

i was hoping it wasn’t that obvious but yes hiiii they

I dont care what the government says. im going to do drugs

(jacob wysocki voice) YOU ARE A REGULAR GUY YOU CAN ENTER A SPACE YOU ARE A REGULAR GUY YOU WATCH 17 HOURS OF HOW IT’SMADE YOU ARE A REGULAR GUY

💀💀😈

(the they reading this)

i skeet for like 2 people

need someone to eat me out then watch/help me trade alien babies on the stock market

i’m so sorry i’m feral this week

is everyone asleep? ok so idk how many Skarsgårds there are like in my mind there’s an endless supply of them and i also don’t know which one is which it’s all a blur of Skarsgård

screenshot from a text thread, honey shared a screenshot of their previous skeet (text: i should text them image: honeys hand wearing tentacle toy attachments). the other person in the thread HAHA reacted to it and said “i’m going to fuck you w a tentacle tomorrow now lol”

this is called knowing how to get what u want. i’m putting this on my resume

picture of honey’s right hand with 3 tentacle toys stuck on their fingers

i should text them

If God is omniscient that means he knows about clown porn

i fear i’m addicted to trading alien babies in the stock market

Another day of tasks at the task factory. Fucked up