Better than a soggy biscuit

The road from Swindon to Oxford

20 past 4

Be strong cider and Amber Leaf rollups next

Apart from not being able to reach the soap dispenser

You're going to be busy

Camp as a row of pink tents filled with hairy men sniffing poppers

All fixed now, stuck to my chest wall by a rather charming fella called Oman.

Have they put oestrogen in the Wigan water now?

And a liar

What a vile person you are, John

No work tomorrow, still on the sick

George Michael reviews nightclubs

I still consider pineapple juice luxurious.

*Pontefract has entered the chat

STOP THIS IMMEDIATELY!

Is this a cry for help?

A new crime fighting duo are solving mysteries on Deep Space 9. Watch Odo and Smackead, Tuesdays at 3pm

As long as Spurs get relegated

Eat the lasagna in bed.

Blocked me, fucking fanny

"Mate, you fuck kids"

Seek asylum in the UK

Meanwhile, the rest of the world is starting to consider all Americans as insane and untrustworthy. You're all stained by his insanity

Nice flat surface for banging lines out though

Bins overflowing with other peoples shitty bog roll can ruin a night out

Don't be so vanilla

Same for me in a cafe in Turkey, no light, my piss stream broke the surface and the flies and stench came up, got back on the coach still wiping the puke off my shirt.