Coming out of my cage and I’m doin bad considering the whole cage thing

A man talking over a background of Super Smash Bros. characters. HEADLINE: Guy Always Shitting On Astrology Quick to Tell You What Your Smash Main Says About You.

A young bachelor was quick to disregard astrology in favor of believing that a person’s behaviors are dictated by their Super Smash Bros. character of choice.
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jeremad agrowitz

I’d bet good money on Olimar showing up. I guarantee he’ll be part of the miyamoto-verse.

So what’s the over/under on seeing a Samus cameo?

Metroid Prime 4 is a visually stunning game with some of the most baffling direction I’ve seen from a Nintendo flagship franchise. For example, you spend the entire endgame constructing a mech with a giant arm cannon only to never once pilot it. A game entirely bereft of obvious feel-good moments.

New Jersey residents are cowering in fear as an enormous gothic castle appeared in the night, towering over I-95.
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There’s one employee at a dark forgotten desk deep in the bowels of nintendo whose job is to add content to this flop of a mobile game that came out when obama was still president. “How else will fans learn of new Mario content?” he asks. But no one answers bc he’s the only one they forgot to fire.

Crabominable and Arceus on top of a snowy mountain. HEADLINE: Arceus Admits Making Crabominable Was a Mistake.

The god of the Pokémon universe has confessed that fellow Pokémon Crabominable was created in error.
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Set off on a grand adventure to become the Pokémon League Champion-now on Nintendo Switch™! Celebrate 30 years of Pokémon™ with this Nintendo Switch™ version* of the Pokémon FireRed Version game originally released on the Game Boy™ Advance system! Explore the Kanto region, discover wild Pokémon around every corner, and aim to complete your Pokédex as you battle your way to success. Earn badges as you develop winning strategies to use against each experienced Gym Leader, and uncover amazing secrets in your quest to be the best Trainer. This digital exclusive contains the Sevii islands, where even more Pokémon await. You can also visit the Pokémon Wireless Club to trade, battle, and chat with other players via local wireless**! Software description provided by the publisher.

"chat with other players via local wireless" yeah that's called talking

New ch**kface lets gooo

Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step.

1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.

2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.

An interview with Donald Trump ended prematurely after Z-Targeting reticles appeared on the president’s extremities.
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Normally when I see a nintendo product and say “I don’t need it” I’m thinking about how I secretly want it. No one needs this furby-but-worse.

when you're a cat and you take benadryl you see the cat in the hat

Animal Crossing

Praying for another pandemic but only the “all my friends are free to hang out with me online everyday” part

Are the Epstein files spoiler tags broken? I click them but I can’t get the images to show.

Breakfast Brie is a beautiful name

A-pop demon hunters (alvin & the chipmunks)

Toy Story 4 pinball machine takes a picture when you lose apparently

Eye priestess!

Putting playable Nintendo video games back in Animal Crossing is the greatest announcement of all time, and I'm only a little bit joking. I don't care if they're available in an app right outside the game. This is the world I want.

A person holding the Slayer token from the game Blood on the Clocktower. HEADLINE: Slayer Bluffing as Undertaker Bluffing as Mayor Bluffing as Butler Role-swapping With Ravenkeeper Bluffing as Virgin Bluffing as Saint Bluffing as Soldier About to Crack This Clocktower Game Wide Open.

A local Blood on the Clocktower player with a needlessly complicated strategy to win swears they have this game solved.
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Guess you gotta play an imaginary game 2

We’re live and in costume! Come watch us play something silly and spooky!

Name is Cassidy but everyone drops the C

"We Love Death More Than You Love Life," Claims Bold New Ad For Campbell's Soup

the joker if he was a furry: wanna know how I got these paws?

Taking my shoes off after entering a haunted house to be polite to the horrors