please stop giving the Washington Post attention

omg i could cry at the you oughta know scene!!! that was such a nice send off

fr that strawberry flavor is one of the least pleasant tastes I've ever intentionally had in mouth

honestly protein pop tarts might be the worst thing I've ever tasted

— Michael Scott

MAJOR UPDATE: I found the best free restaurant bread in the United States www.theatlantic.com/magazine/202...

just mute Will Stancil lol why would you bother letting someone like that into your personal space at this time

ppl do be forgetting about the Papacy's sweeping criminal justice mandate

i mean this is literally, like LITERALLY the thing that the Christian conspiracy ppl have been waiting for. this is mark of the beast type shit

it's funny that we're living in twentyteens TV shows. First Janet hallucinating cacti and now the series finale of Silicon Valley lol

the next senator from the great state of Michigan

100% true and also 100% true that i could

everyone that horny is italian

Me: *Moves an image 1mm to the right* The Microsoft Word Doc: <Picture of an automobile which has been photoshopped to scramble the features.>

Or at least it does once I compile it. Isn't that strange? Shameful though that they built an LLM into 365 that isn't actually good at using 365 products...Possibly the most relatable LLM feature yet...

frustrated, you leave twitter and turn on MSNBC. but 80% of its programming is now about big pants. so you open the new york times and it too is just about how you should wear big pants. you watch the new paramount film and every character is wearing the biggest pair of pants you've ever seen

imagine if i happened to be a trillionaire and bought twitter and 80% of the stuff on the site was just about big pants. you couldn't escape it. just an endless deluge of big pants propaganda

HBO should add an "i don't hate trans people" option to its app

Just so you understand, this is as if you prepared for argument in front of a panel that included Cookie Monster, and Cookie Monster asked you a question about cookies, and you had not thought about cookies in advance.

My baby girl is 16 years old today! Gotta head to the RMV for her driver’s test.

[Stanley taking to Michael about leaving for Utica] Vengeance

THE ONLY THING A DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATE FOR PRESIDENT SHOULD BE TALKING ABOUT IS VENGEANCE. otherwise go fuck yourself

yesterday w this moon stuff definitely feels like a @dustinkcouch.bsky.social thread

Death of a refugee left at a Buffalo doughnut shop by Border Patrol is ruled a homicide The Erie County Medical Examiner's Office didn't reach any conclusions about responsibility for Nurul Amin Shah Alam's death.

The death of a nearly blind refugee from Myanmar who was found on a Buffalo street in February — five days after Border Patrol agents left him at a doughnut shop — has been ruled a homicide, authorities said Wednesday. https://to.pbs.org/3NZGHsz

i hope there's not a global pandemic when im old 🙁

sincere thanks to Mr. Barkley for this.

I'm willing to concede that some people might really be able to resist Twitter brainwashing, but it's way fewer people than are actively being brainwashed by Twitter but *think* they can resist Twitter brainwashing.

i like my version a teeny bit better but everyone should be an Stanoist or a LeSmithwicksist on this one

here if anyone wants to play: please share w me the verse or pronouncement in your religion's OG holy book proscribing rape or sexual violence. would you say that's a good standard for a barbaric vs non-barbaric system of beliefs??

Islam and Judaism are both still actively and overtly barbaric. Christian barbarians learned bad faith messaging in the 1980s but of course this is just a laundered and digestible form of barbarism for the modern age.

i don't really post about the Abrahamic religions any more bc there's really no point, but to state the deeply obvious: Christianity, Islam, and Judaism are three of the most barbaric systems of thought ever devised