I AM FUCKING *DECEASED* LOL
Spanish equivalent of The Onion or The Beaverton announces "Denmark changes the name of Greenland to Epstein Island so that Trump will quit talking about it"
the thing is, “differing political views” used to be about what percentage to tax high earners and not whether brown people are humans
Hot take: every elected official & every judge should have to meet with everyday constituents for two (2) hours every week. Just whoever signs up, decided by lottery. And each constituent gets a full 5 minutes. The official has to sit there and listen - absolutely not allowed to leave the room.
40 and alone. Just like I always envisioned.
Screenshot of a tweet by Melanie D’Arrigo on X.com that reads: “It’s literally the whole reason why we celebrate Thanksgiving.” Beneath it is a Homeland Security tweet saying: “This Thanksgiving, there is no room at the table for invaders.”
The irony is rich.
Enjoy your baseball team tomorrow. Even if they are terrible. Even if they make you mad and frustrated. The offseason is long and the world is full of horrors. Even very bad baseball is better than waiting for spring.
Tonight was not the first time a team hit 8 HR in a game at Citizens Bank Park.
It’s just the first time that team was known as “the Phillies.”
The A’s hit 8 last year.
The Diamondbacks did it in 2019.
The Mets did it in 2015.
But this was the first time any Philadelphia team hit 8+ in Philly
I mean...
so many dead canaries and we just keep on mining
Depression sucks.
I'm still mad at myself for leaving that game early. But I had to be back in Orlando the next day for work.
What were you playing?
First thought on this: if you want to win games- not Jeter. If you want to win championships, Jeter.
Upon further thought, I'm not sure he's aware I'm a dad.
Late night thought: my best man for my wedding may not even know I'm divorced. Because that's how much life changes after our 20s.
So the fact that the citizens of Troy are getting a GIFT, FREE OF CHARGE, of a beautiful wooden horse in a very public and transparent transaction. - King Priam
Also, aren't drag hunts usually up the first base line? You "drag" the ball first basement off the bag?
I’m not sure that I’ve seen many better visual representations of what it’s like to be a parent.
Just shut it down, NL East. The #Braves are coming. Four straight. Can't stop, won't stop.
Should've been benched after not hustling and getting thrown out.
you owe us, God
There’s a tornado warning for the Texas town with the world’s largest knife, and baby, I wanna see some results
Families are torn apart; men, women and children are separated. Children come home from school to find that their parents have disappeared. Women return from shopping to find their houses sealed, their families gone." - Anne Frank, The Diary of a Young Girl.
"Terrible things are happening outside. At any time of night and day, poor helpless people are being dragged out of their homes. They’re allowed to take only a knapsack and a little cash with them, and even then, they’re robbed of these possessions on the way.
checkmate motherfucker
I've got the home and work deodorant.
Update: we left feeling good at the end of the top of the 6th. Turned out to be a great decision.
I left the game at the end of the top of the 6th. Seems to have been a good decision. #bravesbadball
I get to watch the Braves with my kid tomorrow/today. I'm excited.
