Trump’s “complicated relationship with the Bible” is a lot like my complicated relationship with Charlize Theron

Family Watching Movie White-Knuckles It Through Unexpected Sex Scene

Family Watching Movie White-Knuckles It Through Unexpected Sex Scene theonion.com/family-watching-movie-wh...

WIFE: You're very quiet. What are you thinking?

ME: They should make a non alcoholic version of Blue Nun wine and call it Blue None.

HER: Sometimes it's ok to say 'nothing'

Don’t know where this came from. It’s been on the kitchen chalkboard since the pandemic. Still endlessly useful.

God, these lovely, peaceful morning hours in Europe before that stupid cunt wakes up.

Thune should immediately call the Senate back into session. Trump’s unhinged threats to commit massive war crimes against Iranian civilian targets show an increasing mental and moral instability we can’t ignore.

Is it an FCC violation to quote the president verbatim? Asking for a friend

Bondi: ‘My Only Regret Is Not Being Able To Re-Traumatize More Victims’

Bondi: ‘My Only Regret Is Not Being Able To Re-Traumatize More Victims’

many years ago my buddy's kid -- probably 5 or 6 at the time -- was telling me about his trip to Legoland and how he dropped his french fries and how, in that moment, "Legoland became a place of despair," and i really don't see a way i ever forget that phrase

Chaos = “power”

90% of parenting is making tiny portions of snacks look big and big portions of vegetables look tiny.

This 💯👇

Before there was “Heated Rivalry,” there was this New Yorker cartoon by Harry Bliss, published in 2001.

look at this baby beaver and feel better briefly

(@ wildheartrescue on TT)

CBS gonna boot up an ICE procedural series before 2026 is over

What does it take to make a writer? I think I’ve worked it out but let me know if I’ve missed a segment.

Good book idea.

Trump is asking for $200 billion for his war so Susan Collins can pass $50-100 billion through the Appropriations Committee and claim she is a fiscal conservative who stood up to Trump. Trump knows he isn’t getting $200 billion, this is a game Republicans play before elections.

Your anxiety is a lying whore.

Bottles of midge repellent mislabeled "minge repellent"

Scottish Company Stuck With 10,000 Bottles of “Minge Repellent” After Catastrophic Typo

www.facebook.com/permalink.ph...

There's No Face Like Noem

Wicked Witch of the Midwest Kristi Noem has more shmutz on her face than the Tin Man, and she probably bought ruby slippers with taxpayer money. But we know Stephen Miller is the (grand) wizard behind the curtain and Kristi's only skill is shooting Toto.

by Maureen Dowd

💯

Lip Sync Battle - Tom Holland YouTube video by Comedy Central Latinoamérica

I mean, if a guy did this in front of me, I would marry him too. Congrats to Zendaya and Tom Holland for their engagement🙏

Nothing makes me feel more intellectual than poking myself in the eye with my glasses

i put the hot in psychotic.