What exactly do we call the phenomenon where we all loved Joss Whedon's writing 20 years ago but now it feels like the lamest cringey shit?

Every time I hear someone say that Capcom HAS to remake RE5 because they remade RE4 I'm baffled. They didn't remake 4 to be able to do 5. Nobody cares about 5. They remade 4 because 4 was fucking awesome. They never need to remake 5 or 6, let's move on guys.

My therapy for today was cancelled so I came here to vent about movies and TV I guess.

My point is, you need minimal changes to the story of Resident Evil 1 to make it a really good movie. The pieces are all there, and it's 30 years old for fuck sake. You can take it AS IS and make it a movie and the vast majority of people who would see it would still be surprised by what happens.

Guys, I heard that Return to Silent Hill was bad, but nobody adequately warned me how bad it was and much they fucked up the story. And that one is SO EASY to adapt. Just put the game on screen. That's it. Add nothing. Remove nothing. It's really not hard. You guys did it with Last of Us kind of.

By the way, the new Silent Hill movie sucked so hard that a friend asked me "what was worse, Return to SH or Welcome to Raccoon City" and I couldn't believe myself saying WtRC was better. RtSH was a MASTERCLASS on how to fuck up a video game adaptation.

I will see Zach Cregger's Resident Evil opening weekend in the theater, and I will go into it with an absolutely insane mixture of adoring Barbarian and Weapons and hating every live action Resident Evil movie to date with every bone in my body. I might puke, I dunno.

In other news, Resident Evil Requiem is FUCKING SICK. THAT IS HOW YOU DO BELOVED FRANCHISES RIGHT, IDIOTS. Fuck, I also just rewatched Weapons and god help me, that next RE movie better be good.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk about Harry Potter. I often forget to use this site, but sometimes it's fun when I remember it exists and I'm mad about something unimportant.

Maybe I'm being too hard on the new Harry Potter, but everyone who signed up for this shit knew what they were signing up for: a blatant cash grab of a known IP owned by a disgusting transphobe and bankrolled by an out-of-touch billionaire idiot (talkin' bout Zazzy)

What I'm saying is, the gentrification of (all things) media has now made it so (take the terf cunt out of the equation) that a beloved children's landmark book/movie series is as bland and soulless looking as basically everything else. That's honestly impressive.

The new Harry Potter is also making me think of McDonalds. Hear me out. You know how McDonalds used to be unique and bright colored with big arches? And then over decades they all became grey and monotone and boring? The HP movies have a unique look to them and this looks like...a tv show made now.

Seriously, WHO is the new Harry Potter for? Anyone under the age of 35 probably doesn't give a fuck about anything other than Fortnite. The majority of people over 35 are not going to even watch it out of repulsion to the terf cunt who wrote the books. So...

So I just watched the trailer for the HBO Harry Potter, and I gotta say, who the fuck is this for? It looks almost like a shot for shot remake, and it really does look like it was made for television. Also, "beloved books by JK blah blah" CRAZY they're going so all in on this.

Another reason why people need to read more books: I read Bunny and loved it, and then my wife read it and loved it, and now I can talk to her about it and that's nice. #books

Public service announcement: if you post pictures of yourself that are AI generated, I will never look at another thing you post ever again for more than a split second because now you've trained me to think everything you post is AI and I hate it. #fuckai

No judgement but lip filler is crazy, right?

@borderlands.2k.com your game just deleted my wife's level 50 Vex after playing coop with me for 100 hours. What the fuck is wrong with Borderlands 4?

A bunch of you might remember I used to make mix CDs as xmas gifts every year, and I've (occasionally) continued that tradition in the digital age with a Spotify playlist. 2025 was a real dick punch of a year, so let's send it the absolute fuck off in style with my curated 2025 Must Die playlist.

I went to Five Guys for the first time in forever and got a cheeseburger, fries, and a milkshake, and that shit was thirty fucking dollars. And it kinda sucked, so, win win

Welcome to Derry is so unsubtle, I'm shocked they didn't play the Shining music when Dick Hallorann said "how much trouble can a hotel be"

I've never been more excited to eat tacos than when I skip lunch. Today...I am so excited to eat tacos. It's a Thanksgiving miracle.

Smoked olives have ruined me for regular olives.

Welcome to Derry is so dumb. A lot of people seemed to hate Alien Earth, which I thought was fantastic, and they love the It show. So, am I crazy? What's happening?

Do you think these guys will ever know how fucking lame they are?

I would love to just hang out in town and say one comment to the most important looking person about how I, too, used to be an adventurer.

I don't mean to sound hyperbolic, but the worst thing the tech world has ever done to anyone above the age of 35 is make the default scrolling on touch pads mimic phones. I can't rewire my brain, guys.

Remember when Scully canonically got a tramp stamp ouroburos tattoo halfway through season 4 of X-Files? That means she has that tattoo, canonically, through 7 more seasons and 2 movies.

AND ANOTHER THING Mike Flanagan literally made me gasp in terror by hiding ghosts in plain sight during emotional character driven scenes. Andy Muschietti is just, like, throwing a big goopy naked dude at me yelling "hargleblargle!!" as loud as he can.

Andy Muschietti's entire vision of horror seems to just be whatever bullshit passes for creepy pasta. If I have to see one more cgi monster with real long skinny legs and arms and gross teeth I'm going to punch a hole in the wall.