me randomly having 1.1k followers on here takes me out like i really am a magnet for mentally ill people

i can't access twitter and i'm about to go to bed anyway but if it's still down when i wake up CAN WE TALK HERE @smoshmouth.bsky.social

finally unfollowed oomf who's been pissing me off and then immediately got a dm notification on instagram afterwards and idk if it's them but i'm scared to open it

it's so fucking boring over here OH MY GODDDDDD

elon has zero products that work

so it's not just me thank god

for full context i've had this book on my account since august 2023. i wasn't going to randomly add it just to dogpile, i wanted to review it to say i wasn't gonna be reading it anymore lol.

the sandman by neil gaiman is temporarily blocked from being reviewed on goodreads. just btw.

sorry to be a debbie downer but i truly cannot express how much i hate my life and who i am. hope everyone’s having a good day otherwise

squidward from spongebob squarepants is standing on a beach with his arms crossed and smiling . ALT: squidward from spongebob squarepants is standing on a beach with his arms crossed and smiling .

anthony padilla when he’s in a self-isolation competition and his opponent is bluesky user smoshian

HELLO?????

but it's nice that i randomly have 1k followers on here! lmao

it's so hard to quit twitter bc it gives me such a dopamine rush whenever my tweets blow up and gain attention. i mean i appreciate the interactions i get on here too but there's still not enough people to make posting on here worth it 😪

but i’m so fucking lonely. and social media’s my only connection to the outside world. i should just kill myself.

so i think i’m stuck in this mindset that if i’m going to date anyone it can’t be someone i can’t meet irl. bc what the fuck would be the point of that?

i know that a LOT of people have met their partners online or thru twitter and i KNOW i can just talk to my mutuals and vibe check them but then i imagine having a long distance CASUAL relationship and the idea is just so… ridiculous and laughable to me?

i fucked up so bad. i wish i could rewind time. i wish i’m not myself. i wish i wish i wish.

i miss the feeling of caring about someone. of being able to talk to someone every day w/o feeling like i’m bothering them. of trusting someone with my thoughts and feelings. talking to someone bc i enjoy it, not bc i have to, and them feeling the same with me.

i wonder if anyone who used to be a part of my life misses me. anyone from high school or anyone i used to be friends with or used to work with. is anyone thinking about me?

lately i’ve been starting to wonder if i subconsciously make myself sad bc i can somehow hide behind it. if i don’t think about my grief all the time then i’m gonna have to figure out who i am and i’m scared to?

i miss having someone i could call my best friend. but then again i had feelings for her and i’m pretty sure she knew so it wasn’t fair to her… but her ghosting me almost 2 years ago is what started this whole spiral and i still haven’t recovered.

i have social anxiety. i have no idea how to meet people other than thru school or work, of which i have neither. how do people do this?

i get so depressed to the point that people’s close friendships and happy relationships make me tear up and i feel so bad about myself. but on the other hand i genuinely abhor dating apps.

can someone please explain to me the paradox of me feeling extremely lonely and depressed over how isolated i am but doing absolutely nothing to fix it

day 9

anyways ian hecox if you see this and want the handle dm me on twitter @/hecoxussy

kinda stopped giving a fuck about this app

⛪️

a woman is sitting on a couch with a man in the background and looking at the camera . ALT: a woman is sitting on a couch with a man in the background and looking at the camera .

what id do to smoke with anthony padilla

i think the apple’s rotten right to the core :3