The classic "I can't be racist, one of my friends is Black" swerve

Famously written in ancient Hebrew, the Bible contains surprisingly few English words.

Please tell me it's about a mummy

"Because of an editing error, an earlier version of this article misstated which day the New York Mets suffered their 11th straight loss. It was on Sunday, not Monday. Even the Mets cannot lose on an off day."

Two copy editors high-fiving so hard right now

Knock knock

[ok sorry, that's the whole joke, please do not ask who's there]

Screenshot of a social media post by Brianna Wu (@BriannaWu) that reads: "One of my biggest hopes for the future is that we can come up with some sort of test in utero to determine if a child is going to grow up to be transsexual, and then opt them out of the gene pool. It's, I can tell you firsthand, it's a horrific way to grow up, one that no ethical person should want to inflict on a child. The reason the trans community is so unstable online is the developmental damage that we invariably get. It's like a house being built where every floor is leaning, and by the time you get to the top, the entire structure is unstable. Repairing that damage has taken me a lifetime."

Brianna Wu advocates for the extermination of trans people by engaging in eugenicist selective abortions of fetuses determined to be trans.

Not retroactive... yet

Picturing a 14-year-old saying "whooooa the dichotomy!"

Burning the school to the ground with the gym teachers and administrators in it might be worth trying, too.

If we made pro-football illegal nobody would make their kids do this shit

Let's not get crazy now

Cool. So cool

It's possible that the next American president should not be an obviously sundowning septuagenarian sex pest. Just, you know, to try something new.

Phoeo of a cute cat behind a super market toy set looking at the camera, with the silly caption of "Khajiit has wares if you have coin" which is a known The Elder Scrolls line.

Khajiit has wares if you have coin

Ok,what am I about to learn about Tina Weymouth

Fractures Emerge Between GOP’s Pro-Pedophilia, Extremely Pro-Pedophilia Wings

Stellar headline.

Handshake meme, one person labeled "The coolest woman you know" the other labeled "The worst man you know" their joined hands labeled "Talking way too much about Satan"

Pietro Dactyl, MD

A comic panel showing three girls at the beach. One is reading a book called "DEMONOLOGY" "DEMONOLOGY, EH? SAY - THIS MIGHT BE HALF-WAY INTERESTING! ACCORDING TO THIS YOU CAN HAVE ANYTHING YOU WANT IF YOU'RE IN LEAGUE WITH THE DEVIL!"

"Tarmac" is a shortened portmanteau for tar and macadam

Why should you expect them to support the policies important to you when you won't even swear eternal fealty to their party?

Scientists are calling it TurboAngst! Ask your doctor if TurboAngst is harmful enough for you

Maybe he had a decent fake id?

the penne opticon

Sooner or later we're going to be able to punch people in the face over the internet and it's going to solve so many problems like this.

Which is surprising, because there was so much scolding!

When you're definitely actually standing in front of a waterfall

I think sometimes her being awful was the point of the script, bit then the directors failed to get the memo