When I was young, if we wanted to find the secret rave, we'd have to be smart enough to solve a puzzle with a few clues placed around the city that would eventually lead us to the address. The next G7 should do that.

*to the tune of Careless Whispers*

I'm never gonna fly again, the FAA has got no workers

Whoever thought of this is a genius.

Snort 😂😂

Newsweek, 2 days ago: Japan launches 4 day week to save sinking birth rate

Fridays are for fuckin

Many people are saying this is the McDonald’s employee who snitched on the backpack shooter.

The older I get, the more I realise, being confident and feeling sexy is a superpower

Remember to drink your water today.
#Thursday

I’m “I use correct punctuation on my text messages” years old.

He was a skeeter boy
She said, "See you later, boy"
He wasn't good enough for her
She had a pretty face
But her head was up in space
She needed to come back down to earth

For real

"Hey there, we've been watching you from the other side of the bar, and we really dig your vibe. Can we interest you in a roofie-colada?"

Yes, I'm here.
Yes, I'm still there.

It's not about picking sides.

It's about spreading my dumb thoughts that you might otherwise miss.

Very sound advice.

You think you’re a man but you’re only a boy 🤡

🤣😜

Him: How anti-social are you? A person representing Me: I can stay in a room for 5 days without getting bored, as long as I have food and internet...

Good morning 😊

How I arrived to Bluesky.. cautiously...

(a Muppet reporter is reading the news) STUDIES SHOW THAT THE SMELL OF COFFEE REDUCES THE STRESS OF HOW PAINFUL IT IS TO BE AWAKE.

☕ c h e e r s 🌎

I am going to be try and be more active here.. I literally have no projects at work till next year.. 🥳🎉

shush I know you are all jealous..

Picture of a news paper on a newsstand in Australia with a note.

A reminder that I know my followers here don’t need. 🤣