My idea, let’s see if I can create this for real.

Trump paramilitary ICE forces are going house to house in Minneapolis terrorizing families, pointing guns at children and mothers, illegally rounding up people in their homes despite their legal status or any prior criminal activity.

Florida Passes Law Granting Viruses Personhood

Florida Passes Law Granting Viruses Personhood theonion.com/florida-passes-law-grant...

If any country deserves Greenland, it’s Canada not America.

French Foreign Minister Jean-Noël Barrot

French Foreign Minister Barrot: "Greenland has no intention of being bought, governed, or integrated into the US. Greenland has chosen the Denmark, NATO, and the EU." "NATO's European allies are fully capable of defending their territory against any threat, no matter where it comes from."

Reg: N628TS On Ground: True Alt: 0 Last Contact: 0:00:10.600968 Trigger: now on ground

Landed in Brownsville, Texas, United States. Apx. flt. time 47 min.

American Classmates Having Difficulty Understanding Better Educated Foreign Exchange Student

American Classmates Having Difficulty Understanding Better Educated Foreign Exchange Student theonion.com/american-classmates-havi...

Four Homeless People Dead In What Girlfriend Refers To As 'Cuddle Weather'

Four Homeless People Dead In What Girlfriend Refers To As 'Cuddle Weather' theonion.com/four-homeless-people-dea...

“What if Israel is planning to sing an apology song?” Rhiannon Salkin, Systems Analyst

Multiple Countries Boycott Eurovision Over Israel’s Participation
theonion.com/multiple-countries-boyco...

New Sympathetic Alarm Clock Just Lets You Sleep

New Sympathetic Alarm Clock Just Lets You Sleep

New Poll Finds 86 Percent Of Americans Don't Want To Have A Country Anymore

New Poll Finds 86 Percent Of Americans Don't Want To Have A Country Anymore theonion.com/new-poll-finds-86-percen...

Customer Service Discloses Call Will Be Monitored For Sadistic Amusement

Customer Service Discloses Call Will Be Monitored For Sadistic Amusement theonion.com/customer-service-disclos...

Can You Guys Come Pick Me Up? I Accidentally Returned To Mars By Jesus Christ

Commentary: Can You Guys Come Pick Me Up? I Accidentally Returned To Mars theonion.com/can-you-guys-come-pick-m...

White House Begins Christmas Season With Ceremonial Lighting Of Cross

White House Begins Christmas Season With Ceremonial Lighting Of Cross

New North American map update

New map update

New York Mayor smiling while senile US president with eyes sparkling smiles up at him.

Trump was visibly aroused by Mamdani, spent the entire meeting touching him without consent and calling him a good guy and stating that he likes him, while touching him.

Megyn Kelly Anxiously Waits For Everyone Else To Start Condoning Pedophilia Too

Megyn Kelly Anxiously Waits For Everyone Else To Start Condoning Pedophilia Too theonion.com/megyn-kelly-anxiously-wa...

Trump To Vance: ‘I Need You To Say You Stole My Face In The 1990s’

Trump To Vance: ‘I Need You To Say You Stole My Face In The 1990s’ theonion.com/trump-to-vance-i-need-yo...

Former Army Sniper Struggling To Readjust To Being Near Stuff

Former Army Sniper Struggling To Readjust To Being Near Stuff theonion.com/former-army-sniper-strug...

Impeach Speaker Johnson for denying Arizona representation,
to protect President Trump from the public release of The Epstein files.
To obstruct justice & witness tamper by quid pro quo. To engineer a pardon for, coconspirator & convicted sex offender Ghislane Maxwell.

File Articles of Impeachment

The Verdict of History Trump and his fascist glorification

open.substack.com/pub/robertre...
Great quick read from Robert Reich
Trump is a monster. He is an aspiring dictator who wants to wield the same power as a Stalin or Hitler, and he wants to be remembered through statues, stadiums and ballrooms.
He should be remembered as both a liar and traitor

Claim: My uncle says Mamdani will abolish the entire NYPD. True: Your uncle does say that.

theonion.com/fact-checkin...

I need you all to know that my mother sent me this. 🤣 That is all.

Trump mocks disabled man

Trump becomes disabled

Full circle

Formerly Prince of darkness

Soot-Covered Prince Andrew Begging On Street For Child To Molest

Soot-Covered Prince Andrew Begging On Street For Child To Molest theonion.com/soot-covered-prince-andr...

It would be mass shootings and far more deaths…

White House   Maid Shrieks After Spotting    Melania  On Ceiling WASHINGTON—Expressing horror as an unidentified slimy substance dripped on her shoulder from above, White House maid Carla Ovares reportedly shrieked Tuesday after spotting first lady Melania Trump on...

White House   Maid Shrieks After Spotting    Melania  On Ceiling