Look, I don’t think it’s fair that he’s talking about me like this when he’s the one doing it to me

a little camera in, a little twist and grab.

I guess that's the cost for full general anesthetic which I would try to avoid though because a) anesthetists are jerks and b) the recovery time, but until I have an actual examination I won't know if local & sedation is an option

If the two Chrises (Chrisii?) currently running our major political parties really wanted to cement a legacy for themselves, they'd pledge that *neither* of them will countenance Winston Peters in their Cabinet after the 2026 election

(a girl can dream)

I'm waiting for the public gyno system to see me, and just for funsies I asked the doctor to refer me to private to see what it would cost and if I could get it done faster so I can get some fucking perimenopause relief. Southern Cross said $10k-$12k. Plus hospital costs. Sigh.

How are the portents my dude? Seen any good omens lately?

The comments from both senior ministers on RNZ's Morning Report signalled the election campaign has well and truly begun, with Willis also saying Peters was "mischief-making". She went on to say that Labour was "choosing to get into bed with the party that referred to Indians choosing to come to New Zealand as a 'butter chicken tsunami'". Willis' comments were on the weekly Morning Report political panel alongside Labour's Tangi Utikere, who she accused of being in a party that was "courting exactly the same concerns that New Zealand First are trying to whip up" in regards to the New Zealand-India free trade agreement.

Nicola Willis, in coalition with NZ First, accusing Labour of jumping into bed with NZ First and using racist comments made by her coalition partner, NZ First.

VERY COOL PERSON: It's four-twenty, you know what that means?

ME: Hell yeah! [starts shoving blackbirds into a pie]

it’s a great day for transphobes to eat shit

Comic of the beetle from the cover of Massive Attack's "Mezzanine" meeting the crab from the cover of The Prodigy's "Fat of the Land".

Hi this joke is for me

Cool, Neon hasn’t bothered to add captions for the newest episodes of two different shows. Really must cancel my subscription and just torrent to Reheat I guess

Bus typo: Help us score the gift of life, DONATE BLOOB

BLOOB FOR THE BLOOB GOD!

*my first day on Bluesky*
Wow what a cool social media app! I bet I'm going to love it here.
*lady posts about her cat, leftistly*
I will stop at nothing to destroy this woman in the Marketplace Of Ideas

How do more people want Peters to be PM than would vote for his party???

time for us to all start brainstorming puns for when both chrises get ditched in the next two weeks or so

christastrophy ???

thomas violence (@thomas_violence) on twitter: "vegan huh? you know else was vegan? hitler. he was also a wiccan. and a feminist. and his name was claire. wait no i'm thinking of claire"

Me: I won’t set an alarm today

also me: wakes up at 4pm

Dammit

Bless you, Australia

Today is National Exercise Day so here’s a list of my ten favourite exercises…

1. Jogging my memory
2. Skipping a workout
3. Surfing the net
4. Jumping to conclusions
5. Skating on thin ice
6. Pushing my luck
7. Running my mouth
8. Kicking up a fuss
9. Catching forty winks
10. Throwing in the towel

bear suit
insurance fraud

Honesty, thinking that you’ve been fired when you can’t log in when you’re putting in your password wrong is the most relatable thing anyone in that govt has ever done

Cultural appropriation

Duck outside a door with a sign: "do not let the duck in"

I would definitely

NZ Police don't have the resources to investigate actual family violence or sexual harm but they have the time to arrest 13yo girls whose crime was "wouldn't get out of pool" 🙄

I hate that you’ve had to go through this but YAAAAAAAAAAY

Hey @newimprovedtom.bsky.social it’s been so long since the last Yes You May…

So fucking in. It's the new Nireaha!

Apparently there's going to be an Oscar winner on the next season of Taskmaster and Vulture thinks maybe Olivia Coleman or Bret McKenzie, who would both be great. Who do you reckon it could be or should be? archive.ph/qoMnX

(I know he's not an Oscar winner yet, but I gotta go Connor Storrie ofc)

"Faced with questions about what MPs are saying, anonymously, about him, Luxon questioned the veracity of those claims.

"Can you tell me who they are?"

"Who are they," he asked"

He's not asking rhetorically, he just genuinely needs to know

A “swallows” bandana? Pepper, this along with the eels one - you’re inventing your own hanky code aren’t you?

I’ve been so suspicious of them ever since I read an article saying all staff had to do 40 pushups every day at 4pm