He’s going to be replaced by Tim Takeaway

Bottled it, staying in drafts 😩

My vocal stim for this week will be replicating Saoirse-Monica Jackson saying ‘Wee charcuterie’ please feel free to join me

I’ve a terrible memory and it sickens my hole to have cemented in my conscious that Avicii’s Wake Me Up was Leo Varadkar’s “song of the Camino”

Baffling how the wedding cake industry continues to thrive while Romantica is still widely available

Well now

Going viral, trying to stay humble

Pam Bondi to be replaced by Pam Coogee

What's your favourite map coordinates? Mine are 59.09891841620228, -3.2742023043777335

People on Facebook just heard about the 30-50 feral hogs

Yeah but if they stole 12 tonnes of Wispa we'd barely hear about it

God left us a long time ago and He’s never coming back

When a snack you like has a new design but they assure you it’s the ‘same great taste’ it’s like phew ok thank you for letting me know

Hope Sofia Richie calls her new baby Myfeetare

Ok there’s no way this smells like having an eleventh toe

The price of gas continues to rise and yet here I am giving it away for free every day on Bluesky dot com.

How it feels to use the word 'foibles'

Fifth St Patrick's Day without Fungie. Always the hardest.

Has he been?

Her range is unstoppable

Yer boyfriend texts into the radio asking them to play George Ezra

Inside says ‘Hope you get the ride’

Got to write jokes for the IFTAs 🏆

Girl move on

Mountbatten down the hatches!

Sixth Pancake Tuesday without Fungie. Always the hardest.

Do you mind if I smoke

Is it just me or is the pick n mix kinda giving Saddam Hussein’s hiding place?