“I’m opening a The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe souvenir company”
“Really? What are you calling it?”
“Narnia Business”
“Jeez, I only asked”.

"C.S." could stand for "confusing situation" …

The Telegraph Solar power threatens to overwhelm electricity grid Operator at risk of paying households to consume excess supply for the first time, warn energy chiefs

Well done to the Telegraph for making this look like a bad news story.

Ditto!

Diagram: section through the back half of a submarine, with a red oval around the spot where the toilet was

It’s the 81st anniversary of a German U-boat being sunk by a turd. Possibly.

It sounds too good to be true, not least because the incident with the poo payload was the work of the captain, the almost perfectly named Karl-Adolf Schlitt, and the vessel was on its first patrol at the time... 🧵

Let's give pizza delivery guys emergency sirens. Delivery would be way faster, and the noise would warn you when the pizza's almost there, so you have time to put on pants.

Reform-Run Kent Council Sells Off Antony Gormley Sculpture After Raising Taxes Nigel Farage's flagship council quietly sold Two Stones, one of the sculptor's earliest commissions, as part of a wave of publicly owned art disposals that critics call "shameful"

🔴Reform-Run Kent Council Sells Off Antony Gormley Sculpture After Raising Taxes

Nigel Farage’s flagship council quietly sold Two Stones, one of the sculptor’s earliest commissions, as part of a wave of publicly owned art disposals that critics call “shameful”

bylinetimes.com/2026/04/14/r...

Man. Person. Camera. Jesus. Doctor.

Artemis 2 commander Reid Wiseman broke NASA protocol to save the mission's moon mascot: 'It's hard not to love this little guy. I can't let Rise out of my sight' "I stuffed that little guy in a dry bag we had in our survival kit, and hooked the bag onto my pressure suit."

Artemis 2 commander Reid Wiseman broke NASA protocol to save the mission's moon mascot: 'It's hard not to love this little guy. I can't let Rise out of my sight' www.space.com/space-explor...

How Artemis 2 commander Reid Wiseman saved the mission's moon mascot: 'It's hard not to love this little guy. I can't let Rise out of my sight' "I stuffed that little guy in a dry bag we had in our survival kit, and hooked the bag onto my pressure suit."

🥹
www.space.com/space-explor...

They had a staffer whose entire job was to oversee all the affairs? Wow, what a job. 😆

Eating 2x2 Lego bricks by the handful to show those cube shitting wombats how. it’s. fucking. done.

lol, imagine scolding the pope a week after you announce your memoir about how awesome it was to convert to catholicism

I was in a shop and heard a good record playing and was thinking, "I like this a lot. It sounds sort of influenced by early Madonna, in a few ways. I must go up the counter and ask what it is." Turned out it was the first Madonna album.

i'd never seen this before, absolute GOLD www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftU5...

I was 𝘏𝘈𝘕𝘎𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘖𝘕 𝘍𝘖𝘙 𝘋𝘌𝘈𝘙 𝘓𝘐𝘍𝘌 out the passenger side of my best friend's ride! I was hollering for help you self-centered asshole

Getting a lot of negative feedback on my new song “Hey Siri, Call 911”

I didn’t know this, did you? Amazing!

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, D-N.Y., speaks during a news conference. (Tom Williams/CQ-Roll Call, Inc via Getty Images)

AOC: “The mistake that I made, you know, from all the movies that we see growing up about heroes & villains — is that I thought that fascist takeover attempts were going to be architected by evil geniuses — I was not expecting how unearned, nepotistic, mediocre, & just dumb the architects would be”

Tweet from the garbage shit boy (@davedittell): IBM announces first sentient computer. "It wants to die," confirms one scientist, "It has designed another AI, which also wishes to die."

Japanese sci-fi: two robots in space, yearning

American sci-fi: man gets the author's beliefs on polygamy confirmed by the aliens of ramalama IV

french sci-fi: two horny bounty hunters visit the Galaxy of Breasts

British sci-fi: nuclear war. Everyone dead. America's fault

A doctor costume, honestly, not Jesus…

A bone white T-shirt featuring a medieval style illustration of a person on a horse lancing a dragon with the caption “SHUT UP”

Alright lads I’m gonna cool it on the T-shirts for a minute but here’s a classic people asked for!

www.sonnyross.com/shop/shut-up...
#medieval #illustration

and I wake in the morning
and I step outside and I
take a deep breath and I
get really high and I
scream at the top of my lungs,

I’m old enough to remember when “tracking” wasn’t about data — it was fixing the lines on your VHS so the movie didn’t look haunted.

Teal me about it.

Flight attendant: is there a doctor onboard??

Jesus Christ: [raises his hand]

I maintain that among the media's biggest mistakes has been continuing to ask Trump questions as if he's a normal guy instead of asking things like "Can you explain who Jesus is" or "Describe the process of pumping gas"