Imagining you in one of those tailored suits.

How do you turn regular water into holy water? Boil eight hot dogs in it, then let it cool.

The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Pope Leo XIV theonion.com/the-onions-exclusive-int...

Bryce Fuckup

Who Frame Mogged Roger Rabbit?

2 beers an an edible
Sailor feels incredible

Hey Arnold

My Heart is a Ring Camera

DoorDasher,

DoorDasher,

Don’t go…

That deal is a “A hole in one” aha

ITS FISH STICK FRIDAY!!!!!

Popeyes usually

Eating dinner from a bag and doomscrolling. It’s a simple life.

Hauling my harvest of mcdonalds sprite to market

give me the vape dog and free my soul

I don’t want to do this shit. I want to be fishing and drinking beer.

Blessed are the sneezemakers

Sometimes the same is different but mostly it’s the same

A dude being mauled by a bear. The dude is labeled "me trying to enjoy The Smiths," and the bear is "Morrissey's political views."

one piece of shit that sucks, please

a four panel comic Superman is flying through the sky, sitting upright, his arms outstretched at his sides, his legs sticking out in front of him, his cape flutters in the wind. With a wet thud, there is a bright red splatter of crimson from his crotch. Superman continues to fly in this position and says "a bird just crashed into my perineum." "Some would call it a blessing that I feel no pain from such an event, but I would call it a curse, that I can so easily take a life and feel nothing."

super power

My neighborhood is taking bets on the personal politics of the house that's hanging a flag with a monochromatic drawing of Bluey saluting in combat fatigues. But it's down upside down, in distress. And the house has no door. And inside it's totally black except the glint of two eyes watching you.

We once again really don't need to share everything with each other

Picture of Whitehouse in "article" thumbnail from Gambling News Joe Rogan Fears Iran Might Target the UFC White House Event

Materializing nude from a bolt of lightning in 2005 to show my younger self this image

A guy crouched in a parking space with text “normal car in a dealership lot”

The same guy crouched over some rocks on the grass with text “Jeep Wrangler in a dealership lot”

They got unc crawling in the lot for content

Kevin Durant Terrified After Encountering Bobblehead Of Self Fearful NBA Star Demands Doll Bearing His Likeness Explain Itself

Kevin Durant Terrified After Encountering Bobblehead Of Self theonion.com/kevin-durant-terrified-a...

Computer, how do I dougie?

Computer, can I call my wife ‘my bad bitch’ without her getting mad?

Computer, what is my pog collection worth now?

In Star Trek, they just called their computer Computer. Not gork or Claude or whatever