I really hate that it’s “pleaded” and not “pled.”

You know I loved CHIPS as a kid but wtf were a couple highway traffic patrol cycle cops doing investigating crimes? I don’t think that’s their jurisdiction.

THAT IS NOT WHAT I SOUND LIKE. My voice is so deep they sound it upsetting and dubbed me with and effeminate AI.

Oh you

We had way too much fun talking w/ @sethmsherwood.bsky.social ! Well, there is no such thing as too much fun. #scriptchat #ScriptSky #WritingCommunity #horrorfilms

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No YOU just said “thank you for your service” to a 6 year old Girl Scout.

It has been a “take the blood pressure meds with a Red Bull” morning

Bad news guys, after two years I finally got caught hiding the stack of Epoch Times copies in Hispanic food aisle at my local Ralph’s.

I had to drop a photo into a word doc today and feel like I’ve betrayed myself to my core.

Do I know anyone in the LA area that has an FX-30 that would let me test drive it for a weekend? (No editorial commentary requested!)

You misspelled Valkanvania

Bitter too!

Those vibe/theme pages were the best

Make social media Tumblr 2005 again

I somehow ended up on the conspiracy side of IG reels and boy am I making friends…

The last fully good, no bad sketches episode of SNL was the one Kyle MacLaughlin hosted in 1990. I said it.

It’s totally normal to wake up with the entirety of the ski-themed early 90 Juicy Fruit commercial in my head on repeat. Also normal that the only way to get it out of my head is probably with a bullet.

Oh shiT TOUfuckinCHE

I’ve determined that if somebody calls themself an entrepreneur they either have all the money, or no money.

If anyone knows Jamie Lee and Christopher Guest personally can you ask them for me if they’d like to adopt a mostly-self sustaining 50 year old man.

It’s legally allowed to punch flat Earthers in the face right? Like they gave up their human rights when they signed on, right?

Whomever bought it for you is one smart cookie

More like YESFeratu

$1000 to fix the wiring in my new car after rats made a nest. Thanks Biden.

The Pentagon doesn’t have to be honest. The fact there isn’t a larger obvious military response kinda points to it being them.

So it seems like maybe the government is doing drone tests and maneuvers in NJ and everyone in that state with a Nokia potato cam and cerebral palsy is posting clips to TikTok and UFO conspiracy theorists are losing their shit?

I’d push an old lady down some stairs to see that deck… (and be on staff.)

My body would only obey for about 15 minutes before my face is an inch from the screen.

I’ve Venn diagrammed affordability, aesthetics, and ergonomic support for all office chairs ever and there is nothing in the center. It’s just science. I’m not the only person with taste AND a bad back am I? (I’m going to do cat trees next)