"wyd" is always gonna be a boner killer for the ladies.

what am i doing???

i am hanging out with my cats and scrolling on my phone, greg, and nothing u can offer compares 2 that.

i cannot overstate how much men love to show off their pp. u can just say "hi" and they'll whip it out like you're gonna grade it

This. I am done returning to the status quo of what got us here. I want universal healthcare. I want a maximum wage tied to the minimum wage. I want omnipresent, cheap public transit and walkable neighborhoods. I want Supreme Court and police reform, and I want the rich to pay their fair share.

a guy sent me a video of him like swinging his dick around????

anyway. dating apps are weird lol

white ppl really be like "this hot sauce ripped my butthole in twain and made me shit myself at the henny penny, 12/10"

hey maybe now that a cis white guy got to the Find Out portion of the Fucking Around Initiative we'll finally address our gun problem? no? we're gonna just use more guns for fascist shit? oh ok

just ate lunch and got burrito splooge on my shirt sorry for being so sexy i guess

I can't stop listening to Beautiful World

the amount of "straight" MAGA men I get on dating sites who are trying to hit it is not surprising bc you know how these suppressed mfers work, but it IS gross 💅😂

no

Repost if you are a snack, would like a snack, or you think that I'm awesome.

i keep getting ads for these tshirts which is both gender affirming and deeply confusing

today my tarot cards called me a fiery guy who is generous with a sense of humor and I'd like to thank them for this paid advertisement

treating my tarot deck like cast iron and seasoning it with all the energies from past readings

my cat died and i had a lil menty b about it and tbh it's still ongoing 💅 anyway i took her brother's ashes with me to the vet to pick up her ashes 😎

To make myself feel better I renamed my Google folder on my phone

gonna make bad decisions and write it off as grief thank you for attending my ted talk ✌️😎

i cannot both read my gay books and crochet and that's a fucking travesty

my cat is dying of congestive heart failure so i got myself an iced coffee and a donut i am having a day™

Rise and grind? Absolutely not.

Stumble out of bed and contemplate the bleakness of existence? Sure ok

Coworker: can you imagine being lost at sea?
Me, immediately: absolutely not, I would simply die

Do you think I'm going to survive? Land on an island?? Build a shelter and hunt for food??????

No. Wrong. Goodbye world, I'm outtie 5000 ✌️😎

you'd think at 38 i'd have my life together, but no

I made this, you're welcome

I have seen 3 cyber trucks in real life and that's 3 too many

I can be trusted with all of the dollars I make sound financial decisions like ordering 30 boneless wings in 3 different flavors I'm gonna be the Scrooge McDuck of boneless wings.

A brain so smooth and frictionless that when pressure is applied the brain shoots across the floor like a greased up ball bearing, achieving escape velocity from our atmosphere

gonna be a tradwife.
gonna slowly poison my abusive husband over the course of years until he finally dies hunched over his bowl of tomato soup.
gonna bury him under the garden and tell the neighbors he ran off with a stripper.
gonna be a tradwife.

From the Simple Sabotage Field Manual for disrupting fascism.

"act stupid"
my time has come

Link: www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/26184

no, unfortunately, this isn’t my first rodeo, i’ve been doing rodeos every day for 219 years. the rodeo demon won’t lift the curse. my family died 110 years ago to this day.

They're going to use slave labor to replace those underpaid migrant workers. Count on it. Because it's all about exploitation for them, and it always has been.