a clear toaster so you can see how toast the toast is

The idea of DoorDashing McDonald's is insane to me. I DoorDashed burgers and fries one (1) time during the pandemic and those soggy fries tasted like SADNESS.

Filled up the gas tank and bought some groceries. Ya know, just in case. Because who the fuck knows anymore.

To the DNC— was all of this worth not contesting the presidential election results?

My problem is want 90’s era Pizza hut.

One day, "It" will happen, by which I mean sudden and unexpected news that you want to celebrate. In such cases, you will want the right outfit. 🧵

Why should any state have to pay federal taxes when the federal government refuses to fund anything in their state?

I assure you that if 8 million right leaning protesters had turned out against Obama it the NYT would have given it banner treatment eg POPULIST REVOLT

Anyone used discord for Pokémon Go

Me: I have never made deviled eggs, I should make some!

Later, peeling hard boiled eggs: egg salad it is!

People bitching about using taxpayer funds for free transport are never the ones bitching about using them for company subsidies.

At least five different people who I DON’T know at all asked if I’m going to No Kings today. I had a kitchen cabinet builder in yesterday who I had never before met and he was like, “are you going on Saturday?” The energy here is unbelievable.

I don’t even like when yt folks say “booty” cause bitch that’s ours. Say fanny like yall been doing.

If someone made a 9-hour movie, no one would watch because it's too long.

Take the same movie and break it into 9 episodes, and people will watch all of it straight through.

No matter how you feel about Donald Trump, you must admit, he's a piece of shit.

If you think protesting will be ineffective, can you imagine how ineffective NOT protesting would be?

I think it’s frustrating that millions of Americans can come out in opposition to fascism and the media refuses to even acknowledge that substantive charge

Really pissed off at the retired Delta pilot being interviewed on CBC now. She is blaming the AC pilots for not looking and seeing the truck. She saysshe feels sorry for the controllers. Nothing about the pilots who were killed. Americans find it very difficult to accept responsibility and apologize

One thing I’ll remember most about this time in history is that it was all preventable, but members of Congress were too fucking spineless to actually do their jobs

I hate when people dm me on messenger it so annoying

Why the fuck is the Pentagon asking for $200 billion for a war they said we already won?

i have an AI idea for investors. i want to buy a house and ay I need you to pay for it.

OK, so it’s official from the President of the United States when someone you don’t like dies it’s OK to say “I’m glad he’s dead” we got it in writing folks

When it happens, there will be a world record set for the number of people blowing their car horns at the same time.

Such beautiful day outside ❤️❤️

No one ever went to war over solar energy.

Take the panties off my shrimp before you put it on my plate!!!!

Yall ever feel like scifi movies from the 80s were warnings

Letting what the actors or directors say or do outside of the film decide if you liked the movie (with some real obvious exceptions) is straight up doo-doo brain shit. The author is dead y'all. He's been dead.