Jesus is coming soon, Luigi.

Possum? I hardly know 'um.

Drop your crime-fighting Catholics.

He thought this was a picture of a DOCTOR holding a microphone to his chest like it’s a stethoscope.

Kenya is shaped like a knee. It kneeded to be said.

Is your husband Rhonda Byrne of The Secret™️fame?

You gotta commit to the bit.

This "Sound of Silence" rewrite sucks.

My friend's kid loved Peppa Pig as a toddler. Whenever she threw a tantrum, she'd say, "Excuse me! No thank you!" between sobs.

Is this what the mean by “the godhead”?

He has three, but it's only one cock.

I'm worried Corey Lewandowski will be part of the sitcom and every time he or his character gets laid, Trump will start another war out of jealous rage.

I thought that was the official name of Trump's second term.

I'm worried she's going to film a sitcom and force the people of Peru to watch it like Garth Marenghi did.

I'm worried she's going to read out a Requerimiento in Pig Latin each time she lands on foreign soil. nationalhumanitiescenter.org/pds/amerbegi...

I can't fully enjoy Noem's firing until I learn more about whatever the fuck "Envoy for the Shield of the Americas" is. I'm worried she's going to deport people from Latin American countries to random non-Latin American countries.

Who gets custody of Jelly Roll?

She wants the Hispanics trading kids at the food pantry deported YouTube video by Ben Palmer

Hi, pls enjoy this video in which national hero Ben Palmer fields calls to the fake hotline he set up for awful people to report suspected undocumented members of their community. Unless the caller is going to worsen your mood. In which case just enjoy the knowledge that he's wasting racists' time.

I wish those craven bastards at Disney would make a photorealistically animated remake of The Rescuers already.

The technical name for hole milk is santorum.

Anyone can have a coat of ARMS, sillies. The Isle of Man did us one better.

Mud and Matilda | Smashing Saxons | Horrible Histories YouTube video by Horrible Histories

Here's grandma and grandpa falling in love: www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9AG...

Sounds like the universe wanted this for you.

I legit just found out I'm biologically descended from William the Conqueror. Can I leverage this to gain UK citizenship? As my 26th great-grandfather William the Conqueror did?

Just tell everyone it's called "i didn’t do a good job sealing my crusts so the pie leaked everywhere oh no" pie.

God dammit. I forgot about Simple Minds.

A Catholic priest in Michigan walked so that Phil Phillips could run.

I think one of the coolest things the Puppy Bowl can do next February is have its own halftime show headlined by a bad bunny (literally any bunny will do).

Do Brits come in sizes other than Greg Davies and Josh Widdicombe, or are those the only two?

Epstein survivors say they're creating their own list to release YouTube video by MSNBC

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