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i should run through freddy fazbear's peacha with a bunch of magnets strapped to me like a bomb vest for robots

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@everyone Frank, an eight year old thirty two year old with a sense of extreme violence, glides on his bulldozer across the destroyed asphalt over the Denny's parking lot. The roar of the truck blends with the distant screams of everyone as he enjoys the pointless destruction.

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the guy with no ears

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I'm gonna

. . .

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❝ muh... midnight spankle.... ❞

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❝ Is this broad botherin' ya? Come back to bed. ❞

[ SEXY_SAXOPHONE.MP3 ]
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❝ Man, chief, ya never met the Sawyer family. ❞

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rep

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⇅

〝 I got Little Women and the Quran. 〞

❝ Those'll do. ❞

Frank got to work sliding the 1800s coming of age story and religious text under the sofa to act as the new leg.

〝 Inshallah give Meg, Jo Beth, and Amy thy strength to hold my couch. 〞

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❝ I think if I did, a small country would lose power. ❞

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❝ Good question! I nicked it off some- ❞

[ "𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘶𝘯𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘥𝘰𝘰𝘳 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘬𝘦𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯-" ]

❝ I think i'm supposed to do something with it. ❞

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it's the "this is GLORPSHIT" thing creature

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[ outside, once again... ]

❝ Huh, must've been the wind. ❞

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[ meanwhile, from the ethereal planes of the Matrix of Leadership, the Allspark, whatever the hell it's called nowadays. ]

❝ PLEASE... for the love of Primus, 𝙍𝙀𝙏𝙐𝙍𝙉 𝙐𝙎 to Optimus Prime! You've introduced us to smells we couldn't possibly have known or tolerated before! ❞

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❝ I 𝙍𝙀𝘼𝙇𝙇𝙔 feel like I need to do something... something important... something that's been in the backburner of my mind for almost a year, I think! ❞

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❝ You know, I can't help but feel that my fists have banished some poor soul to the Twilight Zone. Or maybe it's the government trying to hypnotize me into misremembering historical events again. ❞

[ odd, blue, virtuous glow in his chest. ]

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[ WHATISTHISTHINGWHATISTHATWHATWHATAUAUTYHGETITOFF ]

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❝ BONJOUR,
I'M
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"CHEESED"

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TO MEET YOU! ❞

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<- this thing does

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[ opening newspaper ]

❝ Huh. "Screaming infant holds philosophical debate with beloved Mcdonaldsland character "The Grimace" in an attempt to locate his two extra missing arms. Story developing."

I hate politics. ❞

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❝ Oh thank god. I thought they were serious for a moment! Good to know it was just a prank.

Hey do you know how to move a couch? ❞

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[ dragging a couch amidst this chaos ]

❝ Hey you don't know me and I dunno you but HOO boy you sure are lucky that giant red truck whatshisname is off doing some other shit right now. ❞

[ continuing to drag his sofa ]

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⠀ ⠀ ⠀ E͟V͟E͟R͟Y͟O͟N͟E͟’͟S͟ ⠀ 𝘚𝘏𝘈𝘗𝘌 ⠀ 𝐒𝖤𝖱𝖵𝖤𝖲 ⠀ 𝘼 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 𝙋𝙐𝙍𝙋𝙊𝙎𝙀.
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