The other night I got so high I convinced myself that the giant tree-of-heaven in my neighbor’s backyard is actually a triffid and I gooned myself the fuck out.

Frances, no one can hear you - you’re on mute.

I really want to know what other songs were considered for the role of of Matchbox 20’s “Push” in Barbie.

Reservation Dogs

Scowl rips, Taco Bell rips. I don’t see the problem here.

Recruiters went from being like “Work in a yurt somewhere we don’t give a fuck” to “The company has a hybrid policy in which employees are expected in the office Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays, and Tuesday mornings and Friday afternoons” real fucking fast.

God I feel like I have been hearing this EVERYWHERE.

I definitely should have taken an edible before coming here, so in that regard I fucked up.

I’m at my town’s pool and there isn’t anyone within 20 feet of me either on land or in water and this shit is glorious.

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A friend of mine was in some stock photography and let me tell you it is very disorienting when I encounter it in the wild (and also very odd that it has now happened a few times).

I’m sorta imagining this pronounced the way Jamie Tartt says “Poopie.”

It will fix about 80-85% of your life.

I like Christopher Nolan okay, but seeing Oppenheimer in the theater sounds about as fun as doing your taxes or getting your car inspected or whatever.

I also learned on this trip that you can totally fly and check into hotels without ID. Be free, go wild.

Once you install a bidet in your house, traveling then becomes an adventure in which you try to avoid shitting until right before you take a shower.

I don’t have enough pithy thoughts to spread across all these things.

The only thing that comes to mind was a weatherman named Glenn “Hurricane” Schwartz in Philly, but he was kind of just a chill nerd with an ironic nickname.

I have fallen for the ol’ “Watch till the end” bit more times than I care to admit.

Oh the smoke is back? Living through the end of society on a dying planet suxx.