(talking about werewolf boyfriends becoming real)
me: "yeah when grindr becomes a thing, it'll be possible"
friend: "you mean, CRISPR?"
me: "yeah, that one"

TRASH CAT, YES!

I'm sorry for introducing you to torment. I hope you can forgive me

pardon me, going to go scream in the corner for a few minutes

i don't know how this happened, but I have never wanted to reproduce a bug so much

anyone have chimken to spare

possums deserve scritches too

(please pet me)

if can climb -> will climb

okay but what about werepossums?

Inside you there are two wolves
One is a himbo
The other... is also a himbo

You are a twink

biscuits and gravy is great, but have you considered a 7 foot tall werewolf boyfriend?

new isekai idea:
"I Used To Be an Arch-Mage, But My Spell Backfired And I Got Reincarnated As An Opossum"

happy tuesday everybody

Is sleeping in a garbage can in peace too much to ask for?

WE ARE SO BACK!!! NOTHING CAN STOP M- *gets hit by a truck*

I'm insane? no, you have it backwards... sane is in me ;)

consider yourself sniffed

Has anyone seen Geoffrey? We were supposed to go lay in the middle of the road today.

Can I just sleep all weekend?

WHO WAS GOING TO TELL ME THAT SELF CARE FEELS SO GREAT

I'm going to steal the entire vegetable drawer from your fridge

who wants to ransack the local dumpsters with me?

he pear chamber

the cheese tax also applies to opossums, so pay up

my brain is soup, but fuck it we ball

Nothing beats committing arson in 31 states.

I'm not just trash...
I'm a dumpster fire

Just put an egg in a tomato and you will be amazed

DO NOT GO TO THE WENDY'S DUMPSTER 0/10

i love water so fucking much