Watching all the dads try to catch up after establishing my dominance in the neighborhood by being the first one to mow the lawn this weekend.

🎶🎶🎶
Don’t give what you’re given
Unless it’s blessed
The world gets colder, less and less

(Bending you over) Open the fuckin Strait

Very jealous of the run “open the fuckin Strait” is going to get in the kinky pegging whatever community.

Happy Easter! ❤️

#oursky #fmty #luxurycompanion #datecarolinas

The bitch neighbors azaleas looks so good god I hate her so much

I went, and when a girl tried to google what protein powder she uses for me, PornHub pulled up 🫠🔫

Lmaooooooo!!!

Do you think I’ve DJ’d enough to skip the gym today?

My thing with the Byron Noem discourse is… why would a bimbo fetish or even outing a client be worse or more embarrassing than the active harm Kristi’s doing?

Why would you clutch your pearls over this, but not all that?

People that hurt people… sometimes get their karma 🤷‍♀️

Cure for dog who likes to walk with the leash in his legs, search.

Omg who was it that was looking for a squirrel dog? I found two.

I need someone who knows how to tend a garden properly… slowly, thoroughly, with intentions to make it bloom.

#oursky #datecarolinas #fmty

Putting a new lawn mower on my wishlist because it’s not admitting defeat if you buy it

Are golf lessons worth it if I just started and I’m medium ok? Or should I just keep practicing and tweaking what’s working?

What if you’re staying multiple days?

Lmaoooooo just taking it to the back and LAUGHING AT ME! 😭🤣

It really is such an easy meal to just have around for people to cobble together on their own

Exactly!! I should be able to sleep til noon if I want and get some eggs or *somethin*!!

Totally agree! 😩

At the earliest!!

Because frankly, those are just as delicious at 4. Sometimes even more so!

🤣🤣

Not with me! 🙃

9am is too early for hotels to stop serving breakfast. Just, greedy.

Being around for a long time is wild because there’s a guy who will to this day adamantly call me a waste of money because years ago I couldn’t fart on him.

He’s a welder suggesting she get into plumbing omg

Yooooo she put him through school??? And he’s telling her to go and learn how to be a PLUMBER???

a man standing in front of a ice cream truck ALT: a man standing in front of a ice cream truck

Went for a lil solo sushi date and the guy next to me at the bar just suggested his gf leave the job she loves to make more money so she can contribute more I am -

Seeing people come out on my usual hiking trails just to take pictures is such a good reminder that even your little everyday stuff is special, too ❤️