Amidst all the GOP whining tonight, a reminder that the Democrats would currently control the House were it not for the late, illegal GOP gerrymandering in GA & NC in 2024.

News outlets are reporting that "President Trump made a poopoo in the potty"

Oh right. That was definitely all part of his master plan

The head of the FBI isn't supposed to be getting blackout drunk. He's supposed to be cross-dressing

Me playing Baldur's Gate 3 with my fake wizard husband (yes I'm aware I'm about 3 years behind the curve)

When I work in the office: This is the worst day of my life. Suffering is interminable. I am going to kill myself
When I work fron home: you gotta take time to savor those small moments. Things really aren't so bad,

Last month in The Onion:

Stocks rise on news that most of the ill effects of the war will fall on poor people.

SOMEHOW, PALPATINE RETURNED, AND THE WHOLE TRADE FEDERATION SITUATION RESOLVED ITSELF

Dr. Jesus Herbert Christ, MD

President Pope is a movie concept

THE DALAI LAMA IS WEAK ON MONETARY POLICY.

Pope is weak on crime would be the all time funniest last post before It Happens

Magyar: “No mercy, they will need to take responsibility for all their actions.”

Something like this will have to happen in this country once Trumpism is defeated. In the absence of accountability, the world will rightly assume that it will happen again.

It’s pretty fucked up that the Nintendo Switch gave all the old games a rewind feature so people can just do that every time they mess up instead of doing what we did which is stop enjoying the game

Did this MF just quote Tupac

Alphabet, Meta, and Amazon all have headquarters in Seattle. This year the Seattle School District has an 80 million dollar shortfall.

Sloppy Joe instead of Sleepy Joe

Peak boomer behavior

If we somehow got an aggressive liberal president they'd be constantly accused of "Trump-like tactics" and they should start practicing now how to say "Yeah I did that and it was good." The familiar cautious approach full of self limiting caveats and hand wringing would be a failure

The ruler is beefing with the pope, his legions have fought to a stalemate with Persia, and typhus is breaking out in a major city. Oh yeah, we're back, baby (in late antiquity)

Me, an atheist: Your holiness I stand ready to join the crusade against these heretics

That's also the sound you hear when the bodies of unvaccinated kids are lowered into an early grave so at least it's on brand

I thought you preferred icy moons but go off

A feeling that everything would be OK if you were left alone for three days that lasts for 20 years

A Sims or some shit screenshot that has a floating human head and has the option to "challenge baby to duel"