*in the Wendy’s drive thru*
Mind if a white girl speaks a lil Irish tonight?

You think drug dealers ever say “get crackin” as like an industry joke or sum

*me talking to a Ancient Roman construction worker* “all in a days work, huh?”

Milo stole my phone 😭

I kill people and I’m a bottom poop btw

Giving my friends free therapy with the D&D sessions I plan

Beautiful trans girl has a sore throat the world is a cruel cruel place

Listen here liberal my inbox is full of planned parenthood emails and Taco Bell order confirmations and I’m a proud patriot

Party slowing down so we all take online autism assessments

Bought a couch of marketplace and now my whole fuckin house smells like the Mexican grocery and watermelon fabuloso

LISTEN TO DUMMY BY PORTISHEAD 🙏🏼

The trans people all across socials were right, trans girls GET THE BANGS

Just tried to pronounce Rorschach. Will try again tomorrow.

Call that ass old yeller the way I’m gonna take it out back and shoot at it 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

ive gotten word that there are two hideous eastern european men in a culvers parking lot trying to light a dead bird on fire . stay safe all

Bob Bryar, formerly of my chemical romances’ dogs: