i was blocked today. although i wish it was because of something i'd written, i suspect is was just a random act of kindness

The last 10 years have added 30 years to my life.

You have a good memory

Yes that be me

REM told us we’d feel fine, but I don’t.

Equally alarming. So you can understand my confusion.

Pro Tip: I’m way funnier and much better looking if you’re drinking.

Keep your snacks close. Your friends and enemies will sort themselves out.

Oh no. Jake’s been kidnapped!

Apple Watch: learn more about your sleep!

Me: no need, I don’t do that anymore

How about them Cavs 🏀

Perhaps he’s going for the 3 peat

Can Kid Rock last longer than a minute 30?

Jerry, Elaine, George, Kramer

Hope your 2026 is less shitty than your 2025. 🥂

My favorite fairytale is Law & Order. The bad guys go to jail and the good guys feel bad about it over whisky.

I mean he was the one who brought up post birth abortion first 🤷🏼‍♀️

I’m old and disabled so like every day is Monday for me. Be thankful ya heathen.

please make my gravestone a skee-ball machine and if you just want to come play skee-ball with no other type of grieving agenda that's totally cool with me (who is dead)

An extremely offline friend just referred to the lockdown as "Two Thousand and Covid" and that is how I will be referring to it from now on.

I love him! I saw him live once in a very small venue. He’s amazing.

I first read this in college (so many years ago!) and it has remained one of my favorites

Thou shall celebrate the resurrection of your savior with fireworks ~ Book of Holler Ch 1 V 1

Stranger Things led me to believe there’d be more slimy tentacled monsters in the upside down. I guess they got the slimy part right.

I fall asleep with you every night

Freddie says it’s Frenchie Friday. He likes to put his toys under the coffee table & then gets mad when he can’t get them out.

Freddie says it’s Frenchie Friday. He likes to put his toys under the coffee table & then gets mad when he can’t get them out.

At least he can blame the brain worm when things go south

Streaming services as restaurants:

Netflix = Taco Bell
Disney = McDonalds
Peacock = Raising Canes
Prime = Applebees
Paramount = Olive Garden
Max = Longhorn
Apple = McCormick & Schmicks

It's easy to never have to look below the surface, when you've always lived above it

I wish dread burned more calories.