Pentagon orders posting of Ten Commandments, exempts killing, lying and stealing Senior leaders say morality must remain flexible

NEW: Pentagon orders posting of Ten Commandments, exempts killing, lying and stealing www.duffelblog.com/pentagon-ord...

'Persian Wife Finder' sees spike in white males aged 18-25 Pentagon says surge in interest ‘not an official line of effort’

NEW: 'Persian Wife Finder' sees spike in white males aged 18-25 www.duffelblog.com/persian-wife...

Pentagon field testing Toby Keith song about Iran Officials say track captures ‘classic early-2000s invasion energy’

NEW: Pentagon field testing Toby Keith song about Iran www.duffelblog.com/pentagon-fie...

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US turns corner in Iran, finds itself in Iraq Pentagon confirms operation continues to move ‘forward’

NEW: US turns corner in Iran, finds itself in Iraq www.duffelblog.com/us-turns-cor...

Iran mines own business Tehran says explosive devices part of ‘domestic consumption’ strategy

NEW: Iran mines own business www.duffelblog.com/iran-mines-o...

Navy stakes claim to contested Gays of Hormuz Service says designation reflects ‘longstanding traditions’ in the fleet

NEW: Navy stakes claim to contested Gays of Hormuz www.duffelblog.com/navy-stakes-...

United States ends Iran war President says conflict was ‘definitely a war’ now that it’s over

NEW: United States ends Iran war www.duffelblog.com/united-state...

Americans shocked to learn war in Iran still ‘ongoing’ two weeks after they stopped checking Experts say national focus shifted to pickleball by Friday afternoon

NEW: Americans shocked to learn war in Iran still ‘ongoing’ two weeks after they stopped checking www.duffelblog.com/americans-sh...

God too swamped with March Madness prayers to stop Iran ground war Heavenly staff officers report prayer servers overwhelmed by bracket-related petitions

NEW: God too swamped with March Madness prayers to stop Iran ground war www.duffelblog.com/god-too-swam...

Hegseth shocked to learn he also has to ‘find out’ after fucking around Pentagon confirms conflict has entered “find out” phase for both sides

NEW: Hegseth shocked to learn he also has to ‘find out’ after fucking around www.duffelblog.com/hegseth-shoc...

Strait of Hormuz remains open if you aren’t a bitch Officials say mines only effective against “mentally weak” shipping crews

Duffel Blog remains undefeated www.duffelblog.com/strait-of-ho...

Strait of Hormuz remains open if you aren’t a bitch Officials say mines only effective against “mentally weak” shipping crews

NEW: Strait of Hormuz remains open if you aren’t a bitch www.duffelblog.com/strait-of-ho...

Department of War confirms ongoing war not a war Officials say situation best described as “hostile situationship” to avoid congressional involvement

NEW: Department of War confirms ongoing war not a war www.duffelblog.com/department-o...

Guy 'monitoring situation in Iran' just looking at thirst traps Pentagon analysts confirm regional intelligence picture increasingly shaped by Instagram Reels

NEW: Guy 'monitoring situation in Iran' just looking at thirst traps www.duffelblog.com/guy-monitori...

Trump awarded Medal of Honor for locating a CW5 Military stunned after warrant officer appears somewhere on time

NEW: Trump awarded Medal of Honor for locating a CW5 www.duffelblog.com/trump-awarde...

Marine dives on grenade to save Dow from falling below 50,000 Commandant praises sacrifice for ‘investor confidence’

NEW: Marine dives on grenade to save Dow from falling below 50,000 www.duffelblog.com/marine-dives...

Trump vows to sacrifice as many soldiers as it takes to distract from Epstein files 'There might even be a lot more. Who knows?' president tells nation in Oval Office address

NEW: Trump vows to sacrifice as many soldiers as it takes to distract from Epstein files www.duffelblog.com/trump-vows-t...

Warrant Officer awarded Medal of Honor for showing up on time and in uniform First CW5 in recorded history to arrive at own award ceremony in correct uniform, citation says

NEW: Warrant Officer awarded Medal of Honor for showing up on time and in uniform www.duffelblog.com/warrant-offi...

Submarine crew medevaced for erections lasting more than 4 hours Fifth Fleet ensuring 'safety of our sailors first and foremost,' commander says while holding something in pocket

NEW: Submarine crew medevaced for erections lasting more than 4 hours www.duffelblog.com/submarine-cr...

Today is our 14th birthday.

From making your dad lose his mind, to embarrassing members of Congress and the Presidential cabinet, we can't thank all of you enough for your inability to read past the headline.

We'd be nothing without our readers.

Here's to 14 more.

Pacific not pivoted to yet again 'I'm starting to think America doesn't care about Great Power Competition at all,' says Chinese defense minister

NEW: Pacific not pivoted to yet again www.duffelblog.com/pacific-not-...

Typo leads to epic furry parties all over Tehran 'I even booked a flight. Packed my wolf outfit,' Defense Secretary says.

NEW: Typo leads to epic furry parties all over Tehran www.duffelblog.com/typo-leads-t...

Trump promises largest quagmire operation in US history Pentagon confirms end state to be determined later

The campaign, tentatively titled Operation War Like Nobody’s Ever Seen, will reportedly combine a massive air assault, multi-division ground invasion, and an undefined end state described by officials as “winning eventually.”

www.duffelblog.com/trump-promis...

Trump promises largest quagmire operation in US history Pentagon confirms end state to be determined later

NEW: Trump promises largest quagmire operation in US history www.duffelblog.com/trump-promis...

State-of-the-art drone grounded due to cyan ink cartridge Officials say system will remain offline until IT guy 'gets back from leave’

NEW: State-of-the-art drone grounded due to cyan ink cartridge www.duffelblog.com/state-of-the...

Pentagon reconsiders Harvard tuition assistance after learning Hegseth went there Pentagon reviewing tuition assistance after discovering one graduate

NEW: Pentagon reconsiders Harvard tuition assistance after learning Hegseth went there www.duffelblog.com/pentagon-rec...

Active military forced to watch ‘Melania’ documentary at SERE school Cadre say film is far more effective than sleep deprivation

NEW: Active military forced to watch ‘Melania’ documentary at SERE school www.duffelblog.com/active-milit...

Top 10 countries Trump will send you to attack rather than release the Epstein files White House sources say ‘bombing foreigners’ remains preferred transparency substitute

This weekend, get ready to cross another country off the list! @duffelblog.com

www.duffelblog.com/top-10-count...

Sergeant Major of the Army announces new ‘I hate soldiers’ initiative Program aims to maximize discipline, despair, and time spent not fighting wars

NEW: Sergeant Major of the Army announces new ‘I hate soldiers’ initiative www.duffelblog.com/sergeant-maj...