So true.

Hell no.

Put her back down there.

If you’re a sorority alumn in good standing who would be willing to write a recommendation for a very good friend’s sweet daughter, lmk. She’s working on her packet right now.

™️

A full-length Broadway production based on Bone Thugs “Ghetto Cowboy”

Of the highest order!!

Scorpion falling from airplane overhead bin ass joke.

Anyhow. Love you guys. Just a bizarre way to start the day.

Like y’all… my social media profile isn’t a human body. Not to get into a metaphysical convo, but just bc I hardly exist here does not mean I must exist elsewhere the rest of the time.

a person is running on a beach with their arms outstretched . ALT: a person is running on a beach with their arms outstretched .

Me: I don’t post on socials much anymore, but I do occasionally want to pop in & see my friends. I think I’ll do that now.

Me: *says hi to Jay*

My ✨friends✨: Get fucked, Nazi.

a cartoon character from south park is wearing sunglasses and a red shirt ALT: a cartoon character from south park is wearing sunglasses and a red shirt

How do we balance the desire for snark & judgement against not knowing what we’re talking about?

I like you. What the hell are you talking about? My once every 2 months tweet to a ticket host? We’ve assigned a morality to that? That’s too much? I’m MAGA now?

I’m nowhere. I don’t tweet. I’m here when I decide to pop my head it. It’s not performative. But I can be not here too.

The most!

I did. And you, sir?

a person is standing in front of a fire . ALT: a person is standing in front of a fire .

Just checking in to let everyone know AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Stop it

They walk that way too, but you don’t notice bc they’re so tiny.

No way they’ll do murders as well as we do.

This has nothing to do with the price, but fun fact… Disney Tokyo is actually owned by a private company who licensed the ability to run the park. So you’ll see different Disney characters & treats there that you might not see at other parks.

That’s too many gasses, imo.

I’m gonna tell myself that.

I work from home. The dogs are here.

Fuck no

a cartoon of charlie brown leaning against a tree says i am sick of myself ALT: a cartoon of charlie brown leaning against a tree says i am sick of myself

After vowing to give this company ONLY my 9-5 effort, today I talked myself into getting assigned work than I meant to.

Giving a shit is straight up masochism.

I’ve hit my ceiling here. I know it. Yet here I am, still caring. Fucking loser.

Stop! Those are gophers!

“Sorry about your dead dad. Here’s hoping the rest of your week is great!” - @baseballdo.bsky.social probably

No amount of money could ever make me say “thank god for online” without irony. 😂😂😂😂