Napkinless Man With Grease-Covered Fingers Realizes He Trapped In A Prison Of His Own Creation

Napkinless Man With Grease-Covered Fingers Realizes He Trapped In A Prison Of His Own Creation theonion.com/napkinless-man-with-grea...

To: kashmoney420@hotmail.com
From: IRGC@Iran.gov
Subject: be in our entorage

kash patel my friend this is vincent chase from tv entourage

we want you to be in our entorage

send your email login details pls

turtle is here to

hello this is turtle

Rising Conservative Star Just Guy Wearing Nazi Armband And Crying

Rising Conservative Star Just Guy Wearing Nazi Armband And Crying theonion.com/rising-conservative-star...

GENDER QUEER + BREATHE Bundle - Signed Auction item 'GENDER QUEER + BREATHE Bundle - Signed' hosted online at 32auctions.

I have a bundle of signed books available in the Lit for Queer Liberation virtual auction up until March 14! Raising money for queer and trans people in Texas and beyond.

www.32auctions.com/organization...

MAGA Voter Claims She Loves High Gas Prices FRANKLIN, TN—Insisting that she hoped the spike in oil costs was only the beginning of a long upward trend, MAGA voter Kaitlyn Leonardi told reporters Tuesday that she loved high gas prices. “I don’t ...

“I don’t care if the prices rise—heck, I prefer them that way,” said Kaitlyn Leonardi, who crossed her arms in defiance as she lauded gasoline as “a great product” that had been “too cheap for too long.”

14 days left to pick up this incredible bundle. So many great games and deals in here.

I became Senior VP at a multi-million dollar company at age 26. My salary was $600k. This was in 2018. How did I do it? Blacked out lines CEO (my dad) promoted me to SVP. There are no gimmicks. There are no shortcuts.

This is blackout poetry to me

We’re currently moving so this and @lysander03.bsky.social’s playlists are making the transition so much better! Need good tunes to make the packing and unboxing go by faster!

Yep

Macaulay Culkin on Instagram. 😢

They want CONCESSIONS from the state in exchange for nothing at all.

Jeff Day JANUARY 24, 2026 AT 12:34 PM Sources identify man shot as Alex Jeffrey Pretti of south Minneapolis The man fatally shot by federal officers in Minneapolis this morning has been identified as Alex Jeffrey Pretti, according to sources familiar with the investigation.

Pretti, 37, has an address listed in south Minneapolis. At a news conference, Minneapolis Police Chief Brian O'Hara said the man who was shot was a 37-year-old white man with no serious criminal history and a record that showed some parking tickets. Law enforcement sources said Saturday their records show Pretti had no serious criminal history. O'Hara said the man was a "lawful gun owner" with a permit. Records show that Pretti attended the University of Minnesota. State records show Pretti was issued a nursing license in 2021, and it remains active through March 2026.

Alex Jeffrey Pretti was the victim’s name.

He was a nurse.

ICE executed a nurse.

www.startribune.com/ice-raids-mi...

they're executing moms and nurses in the street. they're using preschoolers as bait. they're stealing people's dads and grandmas and children. they're tear gassing babies. they're staking out schools. there is no remedy but abolition. any proposal that doesn't start there is an act of violence.

A scene from X-Men 97 Valerie Cooper: Most other nations don't allow a terrorist to be their leader. Magneto: Yet so many allow their leaders to be terrorists.

Magneto was, yet again, right.

30 Rock "What a week" meme: "What a year, huh?" "Lemon, it's January 3rd."

Literally a publication for eight-year olds 40 years ago

Coming soon: Mutants & Masterminds 4th Edition A new edition with updated and streamlined game systems, new options, and an all-new look!

Happy 2026 #TTRPG 'sky! My first goal for the New Year is to get as many interested people as possible following the Kickstarter for the fourth edition of Mutants & Masterminds, launching this month! Please share and follow the campaign if you're interested in checking out what's new!

A meme Top half of the image is a still from Disney's The Three Musketeers, showing four Musketeers standing together. Bottom half of the image is Star Trek TNG's Captain Picard's face during the well-known "there are four lights" scene.

It's way too early for me to be laughing this hard. 🤣

Snowbird: You owe Canada a lot of back taxes, Logan. It's time to fork over those loonies and toonies. Wolverine: NEVER Snowbird: Let's see you say no to earth's murderiest creature. THE DEADLY HIPPOPOTAMUS Wolverine: I thought you could only turn into animals native to Canada. Snowbird: The Greater Vancouver Zoo got a breeding pair of hippopotamuses and they had a baby. Wolverine: Aw.

Comic. [Banner: Mathematical Society: 2025 Meeting.] PERSON 1 with bun: Any other new developments from the year to cover before we wrap? PERSON 2: Oh, the teens picked a new funny number. PERSON 3 with short hair: Aww, I’m glad to hear they’re still doing that. PERSON 4 with ponytail: I’ll add it to the list. [List: 23 (skidoo!; 42; 69; 420; 1,337; 58,008; [circled]: 67]

Funny Numbers

xkcd.com/3184/

This Christmas, I have just one wish for you:
Take a moment to really see the older people in your life.
Let them know they’re loved, valued, and never invisible.
Share a smile with an elder you don’t know.
Offer a warm holiday greeting.
Small gestures carry enormous power.
Love,

Lynda 🎄✨

A Pikachu plush measuring over 3 feet tall (100 cm) was released in Korea! It costs about $150 USD at current exchange rates. Who would add this to their room? ⚡

The Trump / Lawnmower kid meme but trump is redacted