on earth we're briefly goated

Pete Hegseth has announced Operation Total Pownage

smoking on that shit that makes me post on LinkedIn

people who say this act like if they weren't at the airport they'd be at home curing cancer. what exactly are your big plans for your extra 45 minutes at home you fuckin loser

that i should by that quarter acre in new mexico, in fact, that God wills it to be so

[beatles voice] blackbirds singing from inside my pie

[calling British 911] yes, operator, I’ve just been Pied Off.

getting pretty into Dream Scaffolding: intentionally looking at stuff throughout the day that I hope will populate my unconscious sleeping state

sorry I'm late I got skinamarink'd

interesting that the benedictines say nothing of telecommuting

red alert warning that says internal server error

please, my website..it's very ill

these bees are performatively reading

Time (with Sean Bean)

This is the first website built entirely on the purity of the user's soul. I'm having no trouble accessing it. If you are then you must look within

pope would be such a good name for an sec quarterback who barely loses out on the heisman but goes on to represent Texas' 12th congressional district before being mired in scandal that ultimately elevates him to the position of lieutenant governor

reformed ludacris: i want a calvinist in the streets but a lutheran in bed

simultaneously locking in and dissociating incredibly hard to get on the computer

ordering a bixonimania latte

my AI comedienne, Ella Mayo, has died

Blonde woman in a red shirt and glasses gently bites her finger

“you’re getting noticed on LinkedIn”

guy who refers to sex as tender ministrations

explaining to Godzilla how crucial it is to avoid the destruction of high density, mixed-use housing

i thought this was already clear from the way cameron winter warbled "i am a psyop. i am full of silent operations" in the song Industry Plant

the pope is an intercessor between ants and God, who is obviously Rick Moranis

just spitballing here but...Honey, I Shrunk the Pope

this is what teenagers in movies looked like during the iraq war

For 100 million could you finish 100 beers in a month

always nice to get a softball at the end of the day

heretical president, soft-on-crime pope, peptide stacking dalai lama

the boys* are back in town

*Lecherous Phillip, Sinister Edward, Litigious Stanley, Sticky Todd

One must imagine Lauren Sánchez Bezos happy

-Camus