its been a while huh! i guess i can throw a milftilda at the chat for fun. (whats milftilda you ask? a fun little au ive been tapping away at for a few--YEARS???? archiveofourown.org/works/434933...)

A picture of the Bell's Hells, from Critical Role ( In composition order: Imogen, Laudna, Little Mister, Fearne, Ashton, Chetney in wolf form, Orym, Fresh Cut Grass) hanging precariously above a cliff, with the spires of Jrusar in the background. It is midday. The party is framed by an ornately gradient moon and rose filigree.

Bell's Hell's Tarot, Card 0, The Fool.

The start of every adventure, and a card of unlimited potential.

UPRIGHT: Beginnings, innocence, spontaneity, a free spirit
REVERSED: Holding back, recklessness, risk-taking

its just. im trapped. again. this time theres no out. i just have to make sure history doesnt repeat but i have a poor track record of that

i dont blame her (hindsight and just self reflection tells me that its for the greater good for her mental and physical health) i just miss her and miss talking to her and relearning life without her has been. kinda miserable

and you know i cant really say This on twitter because i dont want to put any pressure or anything. idk if she follows me or not. probably not. ive been trying not to focus on the hurt but its always here and its not leaving and im very scared

the worst part about being broken up with (aside from all the other things like hindsight) is that i am now unbearably lonely. i lost my best friend. and idk if she'll ever come back as a regular friend. so. thats a thing!

im so glad cr discourse hasnt found its way here yet* it must be so exhausting being so mad at media all the time

*i am fully aware that i just might not be seeing it. but in my defense. i aint lookin.

the epic highs (getting an interview request after 30+ applications) and epic lows (having that interview canceled because they filled the position with the person in front of me) of adult life

oh man i have to learn a whole entire new website. lets go.