Several years after this tweet entered the internet hall of fame, I learned that I knew the writer in college, and I can only equate it to how people in Chicago felt when their old buddy Bob was elected Pope.
Several years after this tweet entered the internet hall of fame, I learned that I knew the writer in college, and I can only equate it to how people in Chicago felt when their old buddy Bob was elected Pope.
Na na na na na na bat dog
I Work Very Hard, And I Would Like To Try Cake By A Horse Hello. I am a horse. I work very hard at my job of being a horse. When humans say move the heavy thing, I move the heavy thing. When humans sit on top of me and pull on my head, I carry them where they want to go. The main food the humans give me is hay and oats. But I am thinking it would be nice to have a different food. I am thinking I would like to try cake. Yes, yes. Cake. I know all about it. When humans eat cake, it is in glad times. It is the food for a celebration, such as when a woman becomes 47. I have seen cake on the Fourth of July. When humans have a cake, they stand around it and clap hands and smile and say happy birthday at each other. Sometimes there are beautiful markings on a cake, such as balloons or a pink shape. Sometimes the top of a cake is on fire and a boy must blow on the fire with mouth wind. This is the scariest cake. I do not want this kind. But I will eat any other cake. Any cake that is not the fire cake that tries to kill the boy. Please understand: I do not get money for doing work. I do not get to go inside the house. All I am either doing my horse job or standing in my pen or eating food off the floor. I always do these things. But I have never once gotten cake and I would like it very much. I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children. I am more helpful to the farm. Children do not move the heavy things like me or let anyone ride on them. And yet they get cake. Maybe the humans will realize this. Maybe they will say, "You know who deserves cake? That horse. That horse whose back we are always on." Every day I dream about what it will be like if I get to eat cake. Here is what will happen. First, I will walk to the cake and putt my nose at it like hrrfff to make and stomping my hooves to make sure it is not a snake. Then I will trot in a circle to show that I am a horse and I am large. After that, I will nuzzle the cake to …
The horse op-ed is an instant classic. I can't tell you how much joy this piece gives me.
It should be taught in every introductory writing class in no small part because the horse arguments are so compelling. "I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children."
porque no los tres <preens>
moby-dick, his eyes enormous: from hell's heart you STAB at moby? for hate's sake you spit your last BREATH at moby? oh! oh! the great shroud of the sea for ahab! the great shroud of the sea rolling on as it rolled five thousand years ago!!!!
Irish Chinese food classic. I've had a version of it in America and I think about it once a week [laudatory]
I am enjoying every part of Belfast except the food, which has so far ranged from acceptable to possibly a hate crime.
that would either be the best thing i've ever seen or make me want to remove all of my skin and it is 50/50 how it would go
I wrote this song on Saturday, recorded it yesterday and released it to you today in response to the state terror being visited on the city of Minneapolis. It’s dedicated to the people of Minneapolis, our innocent immigrant neighbors and in memory of Alex Pretti and Renee Good.
Stay free
Dave Matthews and Tim Ryenolds playing Neil Young’s Ohio last night and ends with some Rage Against the Machine.
"real change doesn't happen in the voting booth" is in fact a fascist belief
voting is so empowering and exciting. these people are dipshits.
😭
I had the honor to introduce my replacement on 9NEWS
correct
Headline: "Microsoft Scales Back AI Goals Because Almost Nobody Is Using Copilot" by Jan Martindale Dec. 10 2025
we can kill them all if we just work together and ✨believe💫
“I was just following otters.”
kinda powerful when grannies who never cuss say fuck though
If your grandma can get to Bergen County, I know a great one, but I recognize that's a schlep for a hospitalized lady.
This whole thing is incredible, but look how his hand is shaking when he points at the guys who are being hassled. He's scared, he's angry, he's pounding with adrenaline, but he's maintaining control of himself and not backing down. He's taking a stand, whatever the cost.
point of order, not even the most high-strung human alive is as good at being stressed out as the average horse
"How do we get back the men we lost to Trump, Andrew Tate, and the Proud Boys?"
Please do not bring those weird ****ers over here. We have kids over here. I will call Child Services.
People act like all the men are gone. The men are attending protests. The men are putting together scooters for their kids. The men are getting a set of turntables for the first time. The men are buying Nikes. The men are getting super into noir. They're not Nazis and they're fine. Keep your freaks.
Reminder: We spent YEARS reading thousands and thousands of articles on the Tea Party and how it was a true expression of the American people's will, and it never mounted anything nearly as big as Saturday's No Kings rallies. [1/3]
sherman, for the love of god!
Given the times and what Redford looked like, the amount of heinous shit he could've gotten away with is unfathomable, but he spent his career being respectful and professional
I think one of the better, more subtle tributes to Robert Redford's life is the string of utterly iconic female co-stars who've come forward to eulogize him; each of them take-no-shit types like Fonda and Streisand, and every one of them without a single bad thing to say. A model for male behavior
There are lots of great things to be said about Robert Redford - which is more than you can say about a lot of folks - and they're all very important. But none of them are as momentous as the fact that he was so, so, so, so, so hot.
Okay now this is impressive!
Sound on!
