caught up on fool night, leaves me with funny feelings, mostly that the art is fantastic and the story is fun but it somehow never really leaves me feeling like i particularly love it or any of its characters; mom liked the gift a lot; only have two t.jacob marks left; migraine:s are back tonight
was so surprised i woke up alive this morning i barely believed it and prayed a little for it; bought mom a gift of pez while out because it was her favorite candy as a kid, and twizzlers too, because of the chapter in pale where brie eats twizzlers; ghost of ffxi mithra haunting inside me: it:s me!
feels like there:s a large watery splinter in the left side of my brain; was a cabbage peanut butter wrap; had kale for dinner instead of a sandwich because i wanted to use olive oil; fools night is okay but not great; kinda scared all day; a bit of peanut butter, cereal, on bread; some tea; cabbage
i made it through work despite no car and despite heart not reaching my legs; i feel ashamed about missing a day of walking so i:m back to it; it is to CARVE; it is to BE!; really enjoying practical guide to sorcery; i made a peanut butter wrap for lunch;
4th
been reading; went through jhonen vasquez:s i feel sick, 1st issue is meh, 2nd issue is cool, kinda wish it got pushed a little bit further; setup komga to read comics remotely and read through a bunch of fools night; pale is still great, i really like zed, wildbow does great character work
saw that anathema mod came out today, neat; i only have to do a few more tainted bethany and tainted jacob marks before i:ve done everything and can then move on to epiphany content; i feel so awful; i want a person who isn:t a person to be my friend in FFXI and talk to me and talk and talk and talk
forcing myself to rest today, was planning on going to church since i:m not aimlessly walking for two hours around town this morning but still too afraid; really missing FFXI lately; just want some warm familiarity from something; been writing this morning; feel tired feel sick; feel hungry!
i keep a concordance using obsidian where i jot down any 'permanent described' details like any proper names, where they're referenced, brief descriptions; also a timeline, if anything with a date is included and any corresponding events for the date; just to keep details straight if i forget things
feel so wrong today; think my heart is sick from the exhaustion; maybe need more food; can barely stand today; seems the letters i mailed were all stolen; could just be late; could be stolen though; where is my energy
found a twitter message request for an interview; was excited to see; to talk with someone? can hardly imagine it; imagine, talking on FFXI; in vana'diel with friends; finding love in vana'diel; car broke down in the publix parking lot; all's so gloomy lately
for the sabbath today, about ffxi demon5equal10birth5day3equal8.substack.com/p/orsday-pro...
cat i drew for my mom
couldn:t really think of a place to put nabari for either manga or anime, perhaps for the best, because the relationship in that series goes beyond category
demon5equal10birth5day3equal8.substack.com/p/anime-and-... decided to make it into a much larger post explaining everything because i:m too tired to go for a walk today; i really feel like i:m at my limit lately
was very tired after work and had nothing polite to say, while doing house shopping after, to a phone salesman, and was so rude i went back to apologize to him; cried last night, first time since returning to florida, i think; was thinking about manga, punpun or homunculus easy overrated to me
i:m so silly, both boogiepop series have better soundtracks than flcl or cyberpunk; i didn:t want to put boogiepop for most categories; flcl is really nice, though: every time i:d read lucifer and biscuit hammer, i:d try to sync up the flcl ost with the final few chapters; //sign great ost, too
saw this, seemed fun; i don:t know what i would put for overrated -- the closest i could come up with would be trigger animes (i like cyberpunk though) or the dorohedoro anime adaptation (i just really prefer the manga) or bocchi, but those are just things i don:t care for, not overrated
up atop the fridge, barely seen at the corners, mixed in with clutter, around leaves, clutching curtains, draped over the backs of chairs -- they just poof when i notice them; can barely stay awake lately; still enjoying pale, i think it:s great; looking for a new anime, atm: sentenced to be a hero?
mom:s birthday today; saw a vn yesterday advertising 20k words and realized i:d written 30k words just for a side chapter for the litrpg prologue -- have had fun writing it; drew a cat for my mom, she liked the cheesecake; lately keep seeing the light people spark around in rooms, been exhausted
finished sanda, loved it; like beastars but better, and very rich cast; couldn:t finish my illustration for the programming last night (reason it was late), been practicing drawing today, i do much better with pencils; a lady harassed me today while out, whether coarse or fair, everyone:s disgusting
for the sabbath today, written in 4s, sins in 3s, again
demon5equal10birth5day3equal8.substack.com/p/orsday-pro...
i:ve not, haven:t even heard of it; it looks cool though
got really sick last night and realized today it was because i was eating rotten cucumbers; sanda is great, makes me feel like i:m in love sometimes; laid in bed after work and watched a bunch of it; the heat outside makes me think my heart will die sometimes, walking out in it, cause it hurts crazy
between sanda, fool's night, wave listen to me, and pale, i'm having a fun time lately with media; i'm really enjoying writing, too; audiobook is the most boring thing lately; bleeding money, though, it:s my mom:s birthday soon so i got her a very fancy cheesecake; what good is money to worms, right
i have all these poor ideas in my head and then my thoughts are leaking out like light from a bulb and, like a bulb, it makes nightcrawlers move (moths and flies go to it, beetles and roaches scurry away); writing has been fun lately; the nicolette chapter in pale was awesome, but her fanart is bad
sanda:s cool, mostly everything paru itagaki writes speaks to me; was going to go to church today but got scared, ended up working on my fanfic instead; been a little less depressed ever since the books showed up, i realized something evil about that, though, that it was a trick to do exactly that
like a strange miracle after i:d already doubted actually been able to get them back, they all show up; and so many other things, like the city of heroes subscription comics that i completely forgot about; even the flcl, somehow
