R-E-S-C-E-P-T!

First comes love!

Then comes marriage

Then comes take care, TCB!

You know. If I were a mutant, that would be considered a hate crime. And then you’d have to punish yourself, Beans.

America

jumps off a building

“THERE GOES MY HERO! WATCH-“

splat

“What did you think it was gonna be?”

opens his mouth, unhinging his jaw slightly as he starts eating the sandwich like a snake

he pulls out a rather large sub sandwich out of a bag

“LOOK AT THIS BEAST!”

“You want to see inches? Well get a load of THIS!”

unzipping noise

That’s the same thing your ex said about you

Mario fights the flood all the time and he’s perfectly fine

hits him with a stop sign

Maybe. Unless that’s offensive. I’m not looking to get cancelled. Not again. Not after the Vegas incident

burps loudly

Why be sober when you can be fun?

“You are what you eat”

“Oh. Everyone asks me on my various opinions. They also ask me do to a flip on camera.

Anything for my loyal followers and Patreon supporters.

And also for laughs.”

“Also, I have a love hate relationship with the Superman family.

Never beefed with Supergirl though. I think. I don’t know. I hit my head so many times it’s hard to remember things.”

“Yeah. Yeah. I know. I’m an asshole. But you are what you eat.”

“Oh I mind. Being mopey about your own excellence is sad. Boo hoo.

She can still be a hero. She can still chill with the the Z Warriors or whatever they call themselves.

If it’s a money thing? Welcome to the real world. Get a job. Get two.”

“Oh wah wah. Cry me a river.

Look at me. I’m Supergirl. I’m too perfect to be allowed to work on a team of lower level heroes.”

shakes his butt

“Better drink to forget!”

he pours a bottle of vodka over his head

does a hand stand

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

I think they have something over at the pharmacy for that

“Well, give it time. I’m sure there are plenty of people who want a frightening monstrosity who screams all the time.

…this is not a joke. I’m sure someone finds that hot.”

“So you /do/ have one!”

“Make a dating profile”

HOLY SHIT ITS GREEN LANTERN

“If I had to rank all the Robins, from best to worst?

First Robin
Blonde Robin
Geek Robin
Robin Who Shoots You
Tiny Robin Who Stabs You “

“Just pour it on the pile of ashes. If they regenerate, they become a pink vampire.

…and that’s hilarious.”