i don't usually post on weekends. because of my metrics

i love reading your posts too juno 🩷

i love my puppygirl gf, but every time she sees me, she gets a little too excited and throws up :( anyone dealt with this? i could use some advice. my apartment is carpeted

when i'm cleaning and i find an old chip or piece of candy on the floor my immediate instinct is to go "oooh!!" and eat it. very rarely does this backfire tbh

getting the cosmetic surgery that makes my nostrils square

tbh i don't really understand all the modern varieties of yogurt. it's all greek to me

oh, that explains it. i also DMed you to catch up

hotbox the chamber

a very nonplussed emoji labeled "Normal"

me lately

i can't be seen liking every one of your posts. or any post older than a few hours. either would be humiliating

Single Bus

Voracious Dragon card

only if you use my man voracious d

today's easter?! [sifting through drafts] crap!! hold on... uh... um... something about the price of cadbury eggs? no wait don't scroll yet!! [nearly crying] maybe um... i saw a church sign that said "Kids' Resurrection Day". glad they're finally reanimating those poor children?? pls just hit like

yes!

i did just run out of nothingness, but i don't want to be a bother

catching up on Invincible, and looking forward to new episodes of From in a few weeks. big month for tv shows i think are both really excellent and fucking terrible at the same time

always really flattering when someone compliments my pain tolerance

to train my speaking voice i play games and pretend that i'm streaming. today my imaginary viewers are learning a lot about Slay the Spire 2 strategy. [in a cisfem voice] Sunless Sea next time, chat?

i do want to be on the list :)

i didn't see this post before, but we're still sisters right? 🥺

just did as many pushups as i could to see where i'm at. how many did i do? never ask a lady that

glad you're okay, elle

sometimes my girlfriend and i just sit in the bathroom when the other is showering, so we don't have to stop yapping or hanging out

not to brag but my girlfriend gives me forehead a few times a day

no, I'm fine. i just have to play Slay the Spire 2 all day so there's not enough time for other thoughts

i slept 8 hours last night. the last time I accomplished this feat was October 15

I really need to stop getting attached to women whose phone numbers I don't know

I'm looking at number 1 like "there's too much shit on this table". does thst make me a zero?

🦀 crab gang 🦀

it would be disrespectful not to. what am i saying, that she isn't dangerous enough to be wary of?