My resilience is all used up. I'm really not in good shape. Things been bad & still are. I'm totally exhausted. I'm v v close to giving up. I know I can't do a move alone, simply impossible. Might just have to ditch everything. But I'll still have the van & the dog & access to water & loo.

I darent get too hopeful. I've not even seen the flat yet. It'll need decorating & flooring but I won't be able to sort that without help. Worst case scenario is sleeping in the van & using the flat as a day base.
It's not going to be easy but better than now. At least access to water & loo!

But I've learned that somehow I always seem to figure out a way to avoid total disaster, & I just got to hope that I can pull it off again somehow.

Keep fingers crossed I pass affordability tomorrow.

10/10

This new flat has medical need priority & after seeing me earlier today struggling to breathe & walk they haven't even asked for medical evidence.

I've no idea how I'll deal with the logistics of moving. I'm not in good shape physically or mentally at present.

9

So yet another new uncertain chapter beckons.

I will miss the beach terribly & the flatness & accessibility of the seaside town but the 4th floor flat is simply unliveable now. I knew in march '25 that it could only be a temp place but ground floor flats are rare as hen's teeth.

8

Vet checkup yesterday & I asked if I was doing the right thing keeping him going, the vet pointed at him exploring her consultation room & said, well, he seems happy enough.

And most of the time he is happy enough but I know there's times when it's miserable for us both.

7

If nothing else the new flat means he can spend his last months in more comfort, able to stretch out on a comfy bed or in my bed, able to sunbathe outside, able to just pop out for a pee without big physical effort for us both.

The guilt of how he's spending his last months is hard to bear.

6

The dog has been on gabapentin for a month now & it's literally been life changing. No more incontinence, much less whingy & altho his back end is still weak & wobbly sometimes, he's still wanting to hurtle round like a youngster.

5

I'll have to stay there whether I like it or not as another move will use the last of my savings.

On the plus side, as long as I have my van I will still be able to get out into the wilds as it's on the edge of the Pennines.

And I will be able to get another dog when the time comes.

4

It's not a big town & the flat is in a residential area on the outskirts so won't be too noisy & busy.
The front faces north, the back faces south so no sunrise or sunset views ☹️ but a sunny communal yard area at the back.
It'll be my 3rd move in 3yrs (not including the 6 month house sit) so

3

has parking, has communal garden area, 2 mins walk from a park.
It's in a small Lancashire mill town, not a town I would have chosen, it's very hilly & that's a real problem for me so I won't be walking much, but it's a roof & manageable with the dog. It's a secure social housing tenancy.

2

It's been a pretty awful few weeks & both me & the dog are struggling badly in the little van. We're keeping each other going.

But some possible good news, subject to affordability check tomorrow, I've been "provisionally matched" to a social housing ground floor flat which accepts pets,

1

Exactly what needs to happen in USA.

Also cats.
We adopted a pregnant white cat (called it Persil). She had 2 white kittens, both with blue eyes, both deaf. We kept one (called it Klop, from the Allo Allo TV series) but it was killed as a youngster on the road.

I've realised the reason I almost never eat chocolate nowadays after a lifetime as a chocoholic, is because it now tastes so awful compared to how it used to taste before palm oil was used.
Shame as these used to be such a treat.
I won't waste £ on Cadburys again.
@cadburyuk.bsky.social

Maximum monthly State Pension.

Luxembourg £5,426
Norway £1,839
Switzerland £1,657
Denmark £1,486
Sweden £1,373
Belgium £1,338
Netherlands £1,322
France £1,254
Spain £1,238
UK £997

Guess which is unaffordable?

Been researching social care legal duties. The dog has greater legal protection re welfare than a vulnerable person who has no family to raise safeguarding concerns. Social care is only legally obligated to act if theres immediate risk of harm, no duty to act to prevent it getting to that point 🤷

Ty. Struggling today, it's very warm & it's too public to have the door open. Me & dog just having to lie in the van all day as I'm too wiped out to do anything. Feeling quite scared now about what's going to happen to us. There's no help.

Relatively safe. I'm in a rural country park. It was heaving earlier but fairly quiet now. I'm parked just off the road.
Today's been a v tough day. I'm v v tired. Not sleeping well. Anxiety is thru the roof.
Thanks for checking in 👍

Hi, thanks for the tag & thinking of me. V tough times at the mo, physically & mentally. Ironically the dog is doing well on the new meds. But my life is imploding & every day I'm going downhill.
I don't know what's going to happen to me or the dog, it's scary.

Ty. I've been assigned a SW but they're trying to discharge me as I'm not in my "home" area now (for various reasons, all directly linked to vulnerability). I'll be labelled refusing to engage whereas I'm actually unable to engage.
I don't really know what anyone can do to help now. But Ty.

I'm here. I logged out. Everything got too much. The dog is still with me. I'm getting thru the days hour by hour. I've got a safe place to stay over Easter but I don't know what happens after Mon. I can't look after either me or the dog anymore & I'm so tired, I have nothing left in me.

Thanks to my friends here for supporting me over the past couple of years especially the ORCs. You've been there for me when no one else has been in real life.

I gave it a really good shot. But the systems have beaten me. I'm ready for a rest from it all now.

Go safe, friends x

Afterwards I don't know what happens. I have kept going for so long but I can't anymore. I'm tired. I'm so ready to give up.
I'm not going to post anymore as I've nothing positive to post about, no point in constantly whinging.

Decisions made. I need to leave here before the stress stops me from driving & make a final trip as I'd wanted to our old vet with the dog. I can't look after either of us anymore. I'm done. It's the last thing I can do for him. It'll take me over Easter to get there just travelling slowly.

They clearly haven't understood the importance of the descriptors nor even tried to answer the questions to describe what help I need. I suspected as much & had been trying to get them involve me but they just kept saying they would do it all. I'm not sure if they've ever done a PIP form before.

I've emailed asking for one but depends if PIP sees & responds to my email tomoro. It still leaves me with no help to actually do it having never done one myself before & no scanner, no access to photocopier, I don't even have my evidence, the org has still got it. And they're closed now for Easter.

They didn't actually answer any of the questions properly, it was simply waffle about my problems, not what help I need, it was as if it was done by an office junior who'd been told to just write something in each box. Unfortunately they think they've done a really good job. It's a disaster.

... & get it to DWP.

I'm totally screwed. I've been so stressed for weeks because they kept putting it off, telling me they knew what to write but they haven't answered any of the questions properly.

I'm so panicked. I'm totally screwed.

Absolute disaster. After leaving it for 6 weeks until the day before the deadline, the org which was helping with my pip has totally screwed it up, I wouldn't have got any points. I know have 24 hrs to rewrite the whole form by myself, scan it without access to a scanner plus all the evidence...