omg in real life i'm convinced !!!!

omg i'm drinking one right now !!!

there are some people i straight up forgot about on here. oh no what if you guys all forgot me too

omg. so he categorized all foods as light or heavy- if you ate too much 'light food' you needed to eat heavy food to 'hold it down.' if you overate and felt like you were going to puke, you needed to eat more heavy food to 'hold it down.' all desserts are 'light food'

the boy has been doing really well since his diagnosis (stage 3 kidney disease). he is on prescription food and these pouches of hydration gravy and he has gained a little weight and perked up a little. and no new symptoms !

okay i am going to try to make all my twitter posts here too to see if it helps me transition over here.

oh god oh fuck, my mutagen !

'if i had legs i'd kick you' is the world's most stressful experience for people with low tolerance for babies crying or little kids screaming.

hi both of my ears hurt

love da part with all da butts

zooey was the most recent guest !!

i think i'm being a lil performative with it. i'm never watching that shit cause i think i'm too good for it !

does your wife watch/listen to 'so true'?

also since no one is paying attention to me here, last weekend i took a bunch of psylium husk to try to poop before my boyfriend visited and it didn't work and then i had to hold in my farts until he was in REM sleep. and i feel like a navy seal couldn't have done what i did

it's also that like, all of our tiny celebrities are now getting even tinier. they are disappearing

she looks like whatever happened to baby jane is happening to her

no one is paying attention to me here so i just want this to be a safe space for me to say zooey d*schanel looks really weird now.

there was a guy whose mom gave him a clipping of her own hair in a paper towel as a goodbye gift when he went to go meet his fiancee !

gaston: origins: dark fates

I will NEVER vote for a politician who votes for anti-trans legislation. Never. I don't care who it is, it's a dead issue. Move on. If my vote is so important to the future of democracy they should have thought of that before they voted to exterminate my child.

posting on bluesky to inform you all of my first mammogram tomorrow which i have put off for three years. everyone cross their fingers for me okay.

that's a nice mozzarell'

you would make a great husband on 90 day fiance

someone come paint my nails

hopping in the Bigfoot mobile

penis grigio

i fucking agree. he was so cool and funny and was like, one of the only men i've ever met online who never annoyed me

after not hearing from him in over a month, i just discovered that @zdarfan.bsky.social
passed away last month. truly a wonderful soul who was funny, sweet, and kind. truly the king of reply guys.

just got raptured but tmobile still has service up here

the three stooges wiki is as compelling as 'wolf hall'