I know it's unresolved. I don't know how to resolve it.

Why is it when I'm getting ready for bed, when I've already stayed up far too fucking late, that my brain decides to go over past traumatic experiences? Why at all?? I'm sick of this shit in my head, deciding to replay over and over again, often when I should be sleeping.

The perfect camouflage, unless there are no trees around. I couldn't tell they weren't sticks except for the legs.

I've never seen sticks with legs moths, but I can't say I've ever looked that closely at moths.

Sycamore Gap sapling 'vandalised' in Milton Keynes park The Tree of Hope is pruned to aid recovery.

Fucks sake, what is wrong with people??

www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

I thought I just heard a snoring cat. I still miss Emily. ☹️ I don't miss the stress, but I miss her floofy presence.

The local Conservative candidate's leaflet reckons it's between them and Labour. Fuck off, the Conservatives have no chance of winning here! What a liar!

I'm aware of a whole lot of resistance and fighting, and that life would be easier if I just stopped fighting, but I don't understand why I do it and why I keep doing it knowing that it makes things harder. And I guess it's a common thing after watching this.

I know I don't eat enough/don't eat properly. I know from prison that I ate more and actually felt hungry more. But I've still gone back to eating how I normally do, because I don't know what/how else to eat when I'm organising it all myself.

I've had it confirmed that I'm not diabetic but I'm still having hypos and have been for around 25 years. Nobody seems interested in finding out why.

Norton keeps flagging up a Twitter threat. I'm not on fucking Twitter. Twitter doesn't exist anymore does it? Wtf is going on?

CBeebies Songs | Hey Duggee | Stick Song YouTube video by CBeebies

I hope everyone is singing the stick song now 😂

youtu.be/K05N2jqFHc8?...

Sticks with legs!

I'm hoping it's the same big spider I keep seeing and that there aren't three of the fuckers in here!

It's not just energy that's missing for me, it's interest. I get out of bed but I don't have something that makes me excited about the day. It all just feels a bit pointless. Though more energy would help.

I just hoovered so guess who's running round the living room again? Hint: it's not me.

Where do people get their "get up and go" from? I don't seem to have any.

I don't understand what's happening when I've gone from planning for the future, to losing my shit and not seeing a future so thinking about other plans, to waking up and thinking about plans for the future again. How can I know where I am when this happens in just a day?

Prison had the advantage of not having the internet, so I didn't send embarrassing emails when I was struggling.

Your mind can spin stories that feel heavy and endless

But many of those fears lose power with time and perspective

Be gentle with yourself today - what feels overwhelming now might not hold the same weight tomorrow 🌿

#mentalhealth

It's not about the TV licence, it's about being fucked over by life in general. I can't deal with all the shit.

It shouldn't be so hard to do everything. There's absolutely no reason for things to be as difficult as they are. They let you set things up simply and then want you to jump through fucking hoops to get your money back.

I cancelled my TV licence after being ripped off by them for the time I was in prison that they won't refund because I needed to cancel and get a refund while I was in prison (how?). I've been trying to get a refund for my auto renewed TV licence for 2 weeks, but have given up so I'm watching TV.

I'm tired of being angry and lost.

Job Opportunity at the University of Lincoln: Research Assistant - Discovering Liveability Project An exciting opportunity has arisen for a Research Assistant to join the Discovering Liveability: Co-producing alternatives to suicide prevention project. The successful candidate will be joining an am...

The job: Research assistant at Lincoln uni jobs.lincoln.ac.uk/vacancy.aspx...

That added to me questioning whether this life is actually real, because how could such a job be right here where I live?

Last week I got excited about a job opportunity. I've never had a job, never even had a job interview, yet somehow I thought I could do a full-time job and part-time study, when the reality was that I couldn't even do the application and I wasn't qualified.

Probation just derailed my plans for the future by making a home appointment next week when I'm not having her in my home again. And I let them derail me because I react. But who am I kidding about plans or a future? I'm just bouncing from one idea to the next, trying to make life worth carrying on.

The reviews aren't good for the Asda one. Apparently Aldi does one too sometimes. And there's a Daewoo one. Who knew you could get a see-through toaster?

Omg, these actually exist! Asda does one! Something I didn't know I needed before reading this.

Oh, to be an orange cat! Life would be so much simpler.