Get in loser, we're violating the Hayes Code!

(Also if you're a fan of @thepoduniverse.com you might enjoy this because we discuss good actors to capture Tom Cruise Energy 😜)

Hey thanks for coming in! What can I getcha? Excellent choice! Lemme just do some flips and out loud poetry and then BAM! A brand new episode of Ideal Remake just for you! @sparkyupstart.bsky.social joins so that they can remake the Cocktail of their dreams!
Ideal Remake is on all the podcatchers!

Me: Yeah hi. I need your website to be less shitty?

Website: No problem! We just added a bunch of new AI features! 😉

Me: I don’t want those and they make the website MORE shitty.

Website: Fantastic! Great suggestion! Those features are now the unchangeable default! 🤩

Me: *violence*

Taxes were unkind this year. If you need a dev #editor, I am looking for new clients! I've worked in film, prose, and comics, across many genres. SFF, thrillers, action, middle-grade. I'd love to talk about how I can help make your work the best version of itself!
bencranewrites.com/editing-serv...

Science is good. We should fund it.

The worlds on fire and most Pokemon battlers are playing Champions, but I just fought my way up to the max PVP rank in Pokemon Scarlet! So who says I didn’t have awesome Friday night plans!

One Hundred Glee Episodes! Approximately half a lesson per episode! And plenty of our own enrichment thrown in between them! So what better way to celebrate than with extra-special guest @shannonmanorart.bsky.social! Listen to it now!

Obviously Alisson goes on the team! We expect great things from her!

That’s still pretty incredible! Did you name them?

Just WHO??

Amazing! That’s so good! What’s a fun recent catch??

What’s this? Here I was, chilling in the deepest depths of hell and I was pulled out by scorching chains to rewrite The Ghost Rider with the incredible @samgasch.bsky.social! Check it!

Today just so happens to be the first episode of SEASON 9 of Ideal Remake! @vaderfan.bsky.social is here so we can remake Ghost Rider and laugh and laugh and laugh! So do me a favor and give it a listen and we hope you have a good time too!
🔥🔥🔥🔥💀🔥🔥🔥🔥

I Work Very Hard, And I Would Like To Try Cake By A Horse Hello. I am a horse. I work very hard at my job of being a horse. When humans say move the heavy thing, I move the heavy thing. When humans sit on top of me and pull on my head, I carry them where they want to go. The main food the humans give me is hay and oats. But I am thinking it would be nice to have a different food. I am thinking I would like to try cake. Yes, yes. Cake. I know all about it. When humans eat cake, it is in glad times. It is the food for a celebration, such as when a woman becomes 47. I have seen cake on the Fourth of July. When humans have a cake, they stand around it and clap hands and smile and say happy birthday at each other. Sometimes there are beautiful markings on a cake, such as balloons or a pink shape. Sometimes the top of a cake is on fire and a boy must blow on the fire with mouth wind. This is the scariest cake. I do not want this kind. But I will eat any other cake. Any cake that is not the fire cake that tries to kill the boy. Please understand: I do not get money for doing work. I do not get to go inside the house. All I am either doing my horse job or standing in my pen or eating food off the floor. I always do these things. But I have never once gotten cake and I would like it very much. I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children. I am more helpful to the farm. Children do not move the heavy things like me or let anyone ride on them. And yet they get cake. Maybe the humans will realize this. Maybe they will say, "You know who deserves cake? That horse. That horse whose back we are always on." Every day I dream about what it will be like if I get to eat cake. Here is what will happen. First, I will walk to the cake and putt my nose at it like hrrfff to make and stomping my hooves to make sure it is not a snake. Then I will trot in a circle to show that I am a horse and I am large. After that, I will nuzzle the cake to …

The horse op-ed is an instant classic. I can't tell you how much joy this piece gives me.

It should be taught in every introductory writing class in no small part because the horse arguments are so compelling. "I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children."

I don’t know all the industries that millennials are going to kill. But I do know that the last one we’ll kill is going to be retirement homes.

One of the rewards you can get is an editorial session with me at a HUGE discount (~75%) off my usual rates. This includes a physical book, so I had limited it to US backers.

I had an international supporter ask, so I added a new tier, which is an editorial session with a PDF copy, open worldwide!

9 days remain! We're so close to unlocking the first stretch goal, where you can feast your eyes on @bencranewrites.com 's beautiful scripts! Scifi hope is in short supply, but I think what we've cooked up here is worth more than a look.

Text: NPCs: A Live Script Reading. 12th April 2026, 1:30 PM. The Joy Who Lived. Live and Livestreamed. The Hudson Theater, 6539 Santa Monica Blvd. Tickets at joywholived.com Mask required. Sliding scale. Image: A spilled goblet with a knife through the handle. Promo code TAVERN

Looking to save some coin, adventurer? Then enter promo code TAVERN and get half-price in-person tickets* to "NPCs" at The Hudson Mainstage Theatre, Sunday, April 12th, 1:30pm!

*Limited offer, while supplies last

#NPCs #TheJoyWhoLived

maybe don’t watch the olympics right along with queen terf’s new show

this has got to stop

don’t give them the ratings

please

*checks watch*

Harsh, but fair

As you wish = Cary Elwes
This tincture contains rafflesia = Apothecary Elwes

I had my wisdom teeth removed when I was 17 so I guess now I’ll never know why they’re called that.

Tell Giovanni. I want him to know it was me.
#PokemonLeafGreen

The email was never meant to find me.
THE EMAIL WAS NEVER MEANT TO FIND ME.

Today I crossed paths with a LEGEND! #PokemonLeafGreen

Day 14: Building out a character bio for a new project and trying Traditional Medicinals Rosy Mood thanks to @samgasch.bsky.social!

#scriptsky

www.instagram.com/reel/DV6bjpl...

Ooooo! I loved ZA! What a great game! Enjoy!

Thank you! Have you been playing?

I am so very, very, VERY excited to get this little guy DRAMATICALLY under odds! AAAAAAA!!!
#pokemon #pokemonleafgreen #shinypokemon