It was SONNYS BBQ.
I got a Sonny’s at home if I wanna choke on some cornbread

And everyone changed for the after gathering. Fucking hell.

There is food. There is food. There is food.

Christoph Waltz GIF ALT: Christoph Waltz GIF

And THERE IS THE BRIMSTONE. BINGO!!

a man in a black jacket is sitting at a table with his hand on his chin . ALT: a man in a black jacket is sitting at a table with his hand on his chin .

The preacher is an idiot. Said my dad was still alive, called Robinson Crusoe Robin Curuso, and Amelia Earhart Amalie Earnhardt

Gawd damn we in the Stihhh-hicks

My aunt had 109 descendants…
J e s u s fucking Christ

Andddddd just got here and a yt cousin already called Obama an N word. Christ save my sanity we’re so fucked

Left lane is for crimes

Thirty minutes left of this drive. Had to stop at a rest station. Def in central Florida 🫠🫠🫠🫠

God I’m so fucking tired

One of my besties went to China on the 8th and just got home a few hours ago and asked me how it’s going… when he wakes up he’s probably going to feel guilty for not being around and I’m going to have to yell at him.
Leaving for the Sticks (central Fl) in about 5 hours. Pray for my sanity today

Aunt’s funeral tomorrow. Hoping that one weird distantly related fucker isn’t there. Man got his feelings hurt because I told him he was feeding info to a scammer and went full throttle on being a maggot bigot. It was wild.
Mentally preparing to call him weird because I’m a 1/3 his age 🫡

I got to bring Dad home today.
Now he’s back with Mom.
🥹❤️

He’d def try to suplex somebody on the way down at least 🫡

Rule number one: if my mutual posts about their niche kink I’m not into and I see it, I must like the post to give them a good luck charm for their weird kinky adventures. It’s only right

I don’t think he’d survive that 😂

this morning, mamdani’s team got in touch with me to float a new tax proposal: if your net worth exceeds $5 million and you dress badly, you’ll be hit with a 10% annual levy for “visual pollution.” i would be in charge of deciding if the outfits are bad.

A mannequin is dismantled ‘neath a sign reading “looks we love” near the entrance of a Macy’s

Looks we love

I don’t think it would be willingly. He can’t fight. There’s a reason I’ve been beating his ass since we were kids.

NOT THE HILLBILLY FORTITUDE.
Also going to the Funeral for my aunt, and having,as she would say, “a hootenanny” after-gathering. Will update if we break out the danger juice.

I fear my cousin is a wwe fan only, and would get his teeth handed back to him

They are too lame for shine there!
You want good shine you go south center 😂😂

Not even. They bought a house where they could afford and it is… super hick coded. Average amount of teeth in the neighborhood is like negative five

OH THANK GOD MY STYLIST IS YOUNG

Decided to try a new salon for a haircut. Seems super millennial coded.

I literally see boomers with their rollators hobbling around.
Send prayers.

Cousin: moves to redneck area
Cousin: upset at the rednecks doing redneck shit

I have made an abomination.
Quad shot brown sugar frappe.
I am in heaven.

Something something half baba yaga?

Thank you. I’m adding more silliness to it and some colored lights soon. I have a great little house overall but the patio is delightful and full of happy vibes… and cats.