Almost finished with the first season, so much to still catch up on lol

I do!

Basically nailed it, sir.

💚💚💚💚💚💚

People think being married sucks but when my husband found out I had a migraine, he went to the store to get me Diet Coke, made me poutine & has spent the entire day laying in bed with me watching a show where people competitively build dollhouses. Being married is amazing.

Being married is easy, I don't know why people complain about it. All you have to do is ask what your partner needs, actually listen to the answer, then figure out how you're going to train a variety of woodland creatures to put ancient curses on their enemies. It's literally so simple.

These people are crazy talented, this has been fun (I'm still sorry about your head, we will get it there).

Babe, is this how you tell me... I'm fixin' to be so hungry

Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying "you deserve to order one of those giant rectangular pizzas with like, 90 pepperonis on it, you should also get cheesy bread & don't forget dipping sauce which optimizes the pizza eating experience."

It's true, sour cream and bacon lays ruffles are so good holy hell.

Look, we finally got there and those chips are incredible.

came down to the wire tonight but we were able to figure out what’s for dinner again

Again, if you have a Substack, the best time to switch away was months ago -- but today's the second best time.

I thought this was fun as hell, people dogpiled for no reason.

We've waited for so long.

A crudely drawn comic in two panels 1st panel, a boy wearing an orange shirt: dad what was it like livin in the 90s? Panel two: a mustache man with a cigarette: sometimes youd open a can of peanuts and theyd come snakes outta there.

Well, I saw this today.

They are expert negotiators

Every time.

I guess we just shop at different curse stores…

Perfection

Cancer: It doesn’t matter if the glass is half full or half empty, because you will find some way to drown yourself in it.

They need them for dental work.

Big facts

Why do they call it a "restroom" when it's where I practice karate

It's never too late.

You're not wrong. Never are.

🙏🏻

Right??

That is a solid truth.

DOCTOR: Are you taking care of yourself?

ME: [thinking about the chocolate cupcake and can of Monster Energy I had for breakfast] yes