So weird seeing other teams hit homers and thinking "why can't my team do that?"

But if they're doing the spying, then who will give me suspiciously timed pasta sauce ads??

See, I had a hunch that New York might be a "food city"

Pretty sure that was implied

Thank you, I think I've finally made peace with my inevitable death

Man Who Threw Molotov Cocktail At Sam Altman’s Home Claims He Was Following ChatGPT Recipe For Risotto

Man Who Threw Molotov Cocktail At Sam Altman’s Home Claims He Was Following ChatGPT Recipe For Risotto theonion.com/man-who-threw-molotov-co...

It is always old white men.

i was pretty suspicious of all the epstein stuff, but that press conference cleared everything up for me. that's the end of that i guess

Just wanted to remind folks, especially the GOP and the FDD, that Barack Obama’s 2015 nuclear deal didn’t give Iran control of the Strait of Hormuz or allow it to keep 60% enriched uranium. It sent $1.7 billion to Iran versus the tens of billions Iran will now make from tolls. 🤷🏽‍♂️

welp unfortunately it looks like the world actually is a complicated place that requires us to put smart people in charge, hate to say it but sometimes shit matters and its not all a troll

Norman Rockwell man standing at meeting meme.

“Maybe the country threatening to destroy one of the world’s oldest civilizations aren’t the good guys.”

Bot sighted

Some golf courses are fine. Having a golf course in every single town in America is obnoxious. Upper Middle class just crowds the good courses anyway while 90% of courses sit empty as completely wasted space.

Meanwhile Prof Tim Snyder is also issuing warnings about the same.

Week 1: We won!
Week 2: Please send help.
Week 3: We won!
Week 4: Why isn't anyone helping?!
Week 5: Praise be to Allah

They'll probably get worried when they hear all the cursing

Shove this idea that MAGA are poor. He did overwhelmingly well with the upper-middle class.

donald trumps presidency will go down as the biggest wealth transfer from the working class to the rich in american history

Rising Conservative Star Just Guy Wearing Nazi Armband And Crying

Rising Conservative Star Just Guy Wearing Nazi Armband And Crying theonion.com/rising-conservative-star...

thanks to AI our slow and humiliating national suicide will be punctuated by visual media that is so good even a dog could jack off to it

Pretty sure the AL Central has been disproven

Its not even friday yet

Why not?? Literally nothing stopping them and basically our entire budget as a country was rerouted into funding them.

When twitter was perceived as liberal it was a bubble and people should not take it seriously. But now that it's a cesspool of right-wing propaganda it's the Soul of America and the libs ignore it at their peril

I’m at ICE HQ

The alternative was Kzniznzner, why would anyone be mad

In nine months MLB owners are going to tell you they need to shut the sport down because places like Miami are small markets with few baseball fans

looks like we traded generations of healthcare for 4 days worth of missiles

You Are going to keep calling for the Epstein files and Trump and his regime are going to keep rigging the election and bombing Iran.