Thank you so much!!

My second book, 'The Future of Fraud', is out this week.

You should DEFINITELY buy it.

amzn.eu/d/01r5B4eq

waterstones.com/book/the-futur…

I’m afraid it’s 100% real

😂😂😂

Some of you may remember that a while ago I started a relationship with my Hollywood crush Sam Neill

Things are moving forward…

The VERY real, definitely not an imposter, @lewiscapaldioffice.bsky.social has contacted me and I have to say, I thought he’d be a little more concerned about his mum…

ANNOUNCEMENT:

I am 47 years old and last night I had my very first sex dream about Keanu Reeves.

His performance was remarkable.

Utter legend

That’s what you took from this? 😂

I’ve been away for a little while so you can only imagine my joy when I logged onto Instagram to see a message from long-term sex pest Greg asking me about my vagina

As requested, I drew it for him

But as usual, we seemed to miscommunicate and now he hasn’t replied

🙁

I have indeed 🙁

🤢🤢🤢

I’m going to be on stage at the Stratford upon Avon Literary Festival this year with journalist Kaf Okpattah

If you’re around the midlands on Saturday 9th May it would be great to see you

I’ll be talking about my new book and signing copies

www.stratfordliteraryfestival.co.uk/events/becky...

People will often search social media for someone they are talking to. Being AI generated will mean no digital footprint at all, which is suspicious. That will change though as AI starts being used to make entire profiles

25% off my new book ‘The Future of Fraud’? Yes please!

Head to the @waterstones.bsky.social website and enter FEB26 at checkout

Go on! Get on with it ffs!

www.waterstones.com/book/the-fut...

I’m not sure it’s ever been anything other than that 🤮

Three and a half years ago, as part of the research for my first book, I logged onto Tinder searching for scammers

Instead, I met this bloke

He is the partner I never thought I’d be lucky enough to find

And he still hasn’t asked me for an iTunes voucher!

Oh there’s my Greggles!!

Hmm... mysterious 🤔

For those of you panicking that you haven't got your other half a Valentine's Day present yet, here's an idea...

Simply write "but I am" on the cover, and hey presto - a declaration of love and a bloody good book to read at the same time!

amzn.eu/d/04J5ZswK

I’ve received physical copies of my second book, which has had me reading what I wrote many months ago

Quite pleased with this as an introductory paragraph

If you want to learn about what horrid little scammers have in store for us, preorder ‘The Future of Fraud’ right now

amzn.eu/d/01srSaCx

PLOT TWIST

My alter-ego Carlsberg Can John has been unmasked

Someone from my Twitter feed actually messaged long-term sex pest Greg on Instagram to tell him it was me behind the account

This I did NOT expect 🤯🤯🤯😂

Yes it was in the press last week unfortunately

I have a huge crush on Sam Neill so when he started messaging me on Google Chat I was thrilled

I was a little shy sending him photos but he was really encouraging

I wonder what’s next in this new adventure

Maybe he could be THE ONE 🤞

I was a little hesitant when Jason Momoa wanted to chat

My job keeps me busy and I was worried about sending a photo of myself but he seems really easy to get on with and I think he rather likes me…

I didn’t answer either of them 🙁

Yesterday was just one of those days 🙄

Coke Can Greg has been googling

So has Carlsberg Can John

Two can play at that game…

Haha I’m glad 😂

After telling long-term sex pest Coke Can Greg that I have been talking to a new man online, Greg asked that I get the man to message him so they can ‘have it out’

I can now introduce my newly created second Instagram profile: Carlsberg Can John

Let the games begin…