istg I'll actually do this and omad those days and istg if I don't I'll do something drastic (joking, this is already drastic)

INTRO - BYF

• 23yo genderfuck male
• shut-in branching out
• aroace or something
• he/it/they

DNF

• minors
• non vent/shed accts

CW

• food res
• sh ideation/discussion
• healed/bandage pics
• weight/bmi numbers

anyway I'm back now I think. relapsing anyway so might as well

today I need to

-shower
-go therapist
-longboard

in priority but in the meantime I'll be playing Dbd and making a salad for the buns

accidentally got edibles, enjoying them though

disappeared again, lots of things happening

Thank you, you too ❤️

I'm thinking of making an account to post photos of my longboarding adventures away from my vent acc 🤔

good morning!

the second I'm back our kitten is desperately wanting my attention and then dropping something off the table while I'm shitting in my incredibly practical and not ecological toilets!!!

I'm still happy to have my modern life toilets back though, thank the gods

i miss the place now, her pets were so nice even if her goose hissed on my friend. (goose loved me btw, skill issue /j)

having lots of fun though /gen

in Belgium, at an Airbnb, the host is an mlm boss babe who left doterra pamphlets everywhere and oils all over the place. I think what I can't forgive is that the toilets are outside in a hut that doesn't lock and they're "eco" so we're essentially shitting in a bucket 😭😭😭

Yaayyyy, making me want to replay too

I think I'll force myself to sleep by midnight, I can work something out to make it work

I think I might just start f@sting on days that I can't get out? like if it's raining and I have nothing to go out for then f@sting makes sense yk

valid

only thing I can think of is water damage in my grandparents basement maybe but no one goes there for that reason and it's just used as storage. for reference my mum is a single mum who wasn't working for a few years of my early life and has been low income even after starting work

France here, I had never lived in a house/appartement with mold until our current house developed a leak that caused mold to grow. even then it'll be at the landlords charge to get it fixed. I've also never visited a house/establishment that has mold afaik

good luck 🤞🏻

I think what helps me when I have to take a step back for myself is thinking about how bad a job I'd do if I went anyway. Like when I dogsat a year ago, I had to not walk them 1 day because I was so out of it n I felt so guilty but I knew that doing it anyway would be dangerous for every1 involved

omg mouth noises are the fucking worse I go into actual irrational rage when that happens. I always have something to distract me when I eat with people because I'd legit kill someone in those moments 😭

either way I'll try to stay awake as long as possible right now. Also fasting for the foreseeable future. might fix it all, might make it all worse idk. I'll see my psychiatrist this week anyway so yolo

also I'm trying to fix my sleep schedule again. I'd like to have it all under control by Monday to ride my board again but that might be a tough ask

like I'm so scared I'll forget my appointments because it's happened before but it probably won't cuz I'm so anxious about it that I think about them often? I'll log them into Finch with reminders to make sure. hopefully that stops the anxious thoughts.

at least I have a trip to look forward to but I have appointments to fear in the meantime.

it always feels this way when im dissociated, like time just nips at my heels and I'm simultaneously entirely unaware and extremely anxious about it catching up to me for real

dissociation 👍🏻

so I guess I didn't need to wait for the 5th to get the benefits I was owed 😲