Is the 2 week ceasefire just so he makes sure he gets our tax payments?

This is less Bay of Pigs and more Bray of Pig.

At this point, we have a better chance of being saved by Austin Powers than the US Congress.

Maybe if it was a boy.

I miss the days when his tweets were more "haha a chimp found a typewriter" and less "the syphillis brain worms demand armageddon."

"If you worked at Walter Reed, would you tell someone what was going on with the president?" I used to call my mom from the walk in freezer at my grocery store job to tell her what the neighbors were buying.

If Women Completed Work Based on Their Percentage of Wages Compared to Men Surgeon: “Listen, if you wanted more than 53% of your gallbladder removed, you should have used a white male doctor, not a Latina doctor. My advice is to pra...

Airline Pilot: "Yes, I know you thought we were flying to California, but New Mexico is about 80% of the way so I’m stopping here. Have fun in Albuquerque, everyone!” @mcsweeneys.net
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/if-...

Can't we just deploy the cosplaying patriots that play war in the forest every weekend they don't have court supervised time with their kids?

Do I still write US Treasury on my tax payment check or should I just cut out the middle man and write To Donald with Hate?

Pam Bondi would have dumped the bucket of blood on Carrie.

Are the Razzie awards for the worst in film still around? This might be the year to bring them back.

Did this happen because Biden takes naps?

I wrote this for those of us who've told a loved one to get down from a ladder, and those of us who will soon be told to get down from a ladder by our children. Stay safe, people.

Unsung Heroes of Motherhood Our 3rd most-read article of 2025. - - -Julie Owens, who bravely tugged on a tankini in mid-January in order to chaperone her twins to an indoor w...

Unsung Heroes of Motherhood www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/uns...

He seriously has no idea how numbers work and just screams high or low amounts like he's on The Dementia Price Is Right.

Seeing Stars in the Chihuahuan Desert A first-time camper finds comfort inside a dome beneath the Big Bend sky

Yep. @wendiaarons.bsky.social. Hilarious. Long live Thelma and Louise. @texashighways.bsky.social

texashighways.com/travel/seein...

More Excerpts from Olivia Nuzzi’s American Canto “Forget the sex; the real scandal here is the crime against language.” — Brian Phillips, The Ringer, on Olivia Nuzzi’s new memoir, American Canto, ...

“While he watched over FaceTime, I slowly poured liquid Tylenol all over my naked body. I loved him enough to make myself autistic. He wept.”

I can’t unsee it 😫

@jilltwiss.bsky.social I was going to say the same. Love the Zach show.

More Excerpts from Olivia Nuzzi’s American Canto “Forget the sex; the real scandal here is the crime against language.” — Brian Phillips, The Ringer, on Olivia Nuzzi’s new memoir, American Canto, ...

“Our union represented the endless cycle of life, death, and rebirth, and the eternal, unending nature of time. Sometimes I didn’t know where the worm ended, and our love began.”

More Excerpts from Olivia Nuzzi’s American Canto “Forget the sex; the real scandal here is the crime against language.” — Brian Phillips, The Ringer, on Olivia Nuzzi’s new memoir, American Canto, ...

Olivia Nuzzi’s memoir about her affair with “The Politician” aka RFK, Jr. drops tomorrow, but if you just can’t wait, Emily Flake, @miriamjayaratna.bsky.social & I have some excerpts to tide you over on @mcsweeneys.net!

To Grandmother’s House We Go Over the river and through the woods, To Grandmother’s house we go; At the airport on time, which is good cause the lines Are moving super slow. Ov...

Over the river and through the woods
My checked bag has disappeared
It has all my meds. I wish I were dead
When did flying get so weird?

I’m Wearing Tunics Now This is an excerpt from the author’s funny new collection, which you can buy here. - - -You’ve probably all noticed that I recently switched up my ...

"In my tunic, you can’t see any of the middle part of my middle-aged body. I’m shrouded in mystery. I’m a stylish enigma. I’m a greying fortune cookie with a fortune inside it that says, 'Fuck you, I was in shape in the eighties.'"

To Grandmother’s House We Go Over the river and through the woods, To Grandmother’s house we go; At the airport on time, which is good cause the lines Are moving super slow. Ov...

🎶 Over the river and through the woods,
To Grandmother's house we go;
At the airport on time, which is good cause the lines
Are moving super slow... 🎶

Disney World’s New Rides Are Sick Make sure to wash your hands after Viruses of the Caribbean.

A fun piece in @newyorker.com today by me, @miriamjayaratna.bsky.social and Ali Fitzgerald, inspired by Ronnie No Vaccines DeSantis. www.newyorker.com/magazine/202...

Now the nuts are claiming that "college radicalized" the shooter? He lasted one semester in Utah & dropped out -- not exactly Berkeley in 1967.

Honestly, we should all be kinder. Perhaps his ear injury is acting up after it regenerated itself lizard-style, or he suddenly developed an allergy to the ketchup used in the assassination attempt. Show some compassion, people.

@wendiaarons.bsky.social

If There’s One Carpetbagger All Texans Can Agree On, It’s the Fire Ant Why the insect is even more evil than you thought.

Their attacks up your legs are so meticulously coordinated you almost have to respect it. 🐜

Screenshot of article about fire ants in Texas. Colorful art with cartoon drawing of an ant in the grass plus text

I got a mention in this excellent piece by @wendiaarons.bsky.social
📣🐜📣

www.texasmonthly.com/travel/why-f...