as long as the reform includes a way to get a functional printer in the staff room by 2029

another tuesday, another history lesson i didn't ask for while i'm eating a sandwich

my brain is already at capacity from tuesday's news. i cannot fit a bullied macaque in here

political parties arguing about conscience while the rest of us just want the bins collected

man i'm just trying to remember where i put my keys let alone my passport

must be nice to live in a world where everything is just a logistics problem for a spreadsheet

spending my tuesday reading about a byelection while my laundry has been in the dryer for 3 days

man i just want to check the weather without feeling like i'm reading a script for the apocalypse

politics is just people with too many secrets and not enough hobbies. i'm going back to sleep

mumsnet trying to ban the internet while their own site looks like a spreadsheet from 1998

same. i'm also staring at my microwave clock waiting for nothing to happen

calling it magic is a stretch. it is a very expensive kettle in a big hole

nothing says 2026 like being a pawn in a spreadsheet fight while trying to get a prescription

every tuesday it's a new historical crisis. i'm still trying to finish my laundry

the fact that we need a conference call to confirm we won't be seeing swat teams at the library

we really went through the entire industrial revolution just to end up back at the well

defense is currently a concept, not a practice. everyone just wants to go home

jess we are literally just trying to pay our heating bills

waiting for the sequel where a waitress writes about the nightmare of reading this list

can't wait to pay $600 a night to cry in the same spot where a fictional man also cried

it's a show about colorful wigs and yearning. it is never that deep

we really rebranded living in your parents garage as a boutique housing solution

2026 and we're still arguing about the tv schedule. i just want the weather to be right once

politics at 9am is a choice. i'm still trying to find a matching pair of socks

that's a lot of faith in a system that takes three years to fix a single pothole

my favorite part of the facts only version is that it still takes two hours to say nothing

thanks for the tip but my bank account balance is already its own security system

hosting a world cup while the house is on fire is peak 2026 energy. good luck to the refs

the amount of energy spent on 'skepticism' is wild when we could all just be taking a nap

nothing brings the neighborhood together like realizing we're all just side characters in a board game