Assorted Haiku Haiku #2511   Tourists wait in line to enter Machu Picchu. Oh, look! A high queue. Haiku #564127   how dare you suggest I have a short attention spanish omelette   Limeraiku   There once was a young limerick from Kew who turned into a haiku. The Constraints of Haiku   Tied up all night with a haiku dominatrix and her three-line whip.   Shakespearean Haiku   Shall I compare thee To a summer’s day? Alright – Thou art pretty hot.   How to Write a Haiku   The last line should flow seamlessly from the first two – hippopotamus.    Brian Bilston  

It’s International Haiku Day apparently and so for today’s poetry offering, here are a few assorted haiku.

Just realised that the biggest change to my life from losing some weight (don’t worry, still technically obese) is that I can cross my legs again for the first time in many, many years… don’t know what I think about that being so momentous, but there you go.

“The manipulation of various bodies and institutions which is sometimes known as corruption” - Amol Rajan’s introductory framing of Orban is quite striking. He cannot go too soon for me. #r4Today

I thought this had gone with Amol Rajan, but now Emma Barnett is using #r4Today as her advertising platform for her podcast - could they not just give us the news and leave off the self promotion? 🙄

Can’t stop thinking about the lyrics of Our Song by Taylor Swift and what a terribly unsafe driver her boyfriend is - “I was ridin′ shotgun with my hair undone
In the front seat of his car
He's got a one-hand feel on the steering wheel
The other on my heart”. Surely unsafe at any speed?

The ancient scrolls tell us that, in the Before Time, a president's admission that his administration had not considered the obvious likelihood of the war widening when they first attacked Iran would lead to immediate congressional hearings.

Mel Stride - the government should be controlling (reducing) welfare and spending. As usual it’s “let’s impoverish the poor further”. It really does disgust me - they are such heartless robber barons - eurgh. But, to be fair, austerity worked so well last time (irony). #r4Today

Russell Square: big on tulips

Hyacinths

Pink blossom

Russell Square demonstrating spring

Every time a Tory says something racist the entire right feels compelled to double down on it or create a more sympathetic spin on it and the Overton window shifts closer to "let's ban muslims" or "race science is good actually". These days the Tories would give Enoch Powell a parade

Someone suggested I read the Poldark books. They turn out to very good. So good I have just had an hour and a half lunch break 😬.

Sounds like you’re describing Father Christmas…

Imagine being able to do this. It's just mindblowing.

genuinely what the fuck is this outfit and why is nobody on the news asking her why she's cutting about dressed like an SS officer

Nick Robinson asking Badenock how she will feel if she becomes prime minister - how does she think the rest of us feel??😬 #r4Today I mean, the only sliver lining is every word from her mouth makes it less and less likely

To be honest, giving Badenock her head and letting her run on national radio is the best thing the Labour Party can do right now #r4Today

Now Badenock referring to the sinking of the Belgrano as an uncomplicated “good thing” - wowzer #r4Today

Badenock also appearing to claim Iran had nuclear capacity and we should have acted to stop them dropping a nuke despite a complete lack of any evidence #r4Today. She is so scattered, unserious and befuddled it’s scary.

Seriously Kemi Badenock is genuinely bat shit - on #r4Today right now talking about nuclear war followed by a claim that international law matters… so long as it doesn’t contradict what we all want to do - yeah, sure, that’s totally how it works (irony).

Out to dinner with friends - we went through everyone’s holiday plans, but no one bothered to ask me; then we did everyone’s parents, but again, apparently I don’t have any. Very long dinner - I don’t have to talk at length, but it would occasionally be nice to be asked…

who made this

obviously today is a huge embarrassment for Matt Goodwin and for Reform, which is something that we absolutely ought to celebrate, but we must also remember it's a huge embarrassment for Morgan McSweeney and Maurice Glasman and all the Blue Labour weirdos, and that's important to celebrate too :)

In a nice shade of vermilion.

The Rest is History Festival may have done what I thought was impossible and turned me agin them. To be sure of getting a ticket, you need to be an Athelstan, which costs several hundred pounds and then you need to pay another £270 per ticket - feels very much like being severely rinsed.

Wow - 3 pairs of identical leopard print jeans in one Holborn Pret alone - is this a new (and horrible) trend or what?

Oh it’s ok - have switched channels by mistake -phew…

Seriously, his voice alone is horrifically irritating let alone what he is actually saying which appears to be genuine fantasy

Hey, #r4Today please stop making me listen to the absolute twaddle spewed by Trump last night and give us some decent commentary. Thanks, an irritated listener.

Spring in Bloomsbury Square

So irritated by that interview just now on #r4Today - Nick Robinson trying to get the government spokesperson to say they are cutting SEND spending and, when she wouldn’t, saying she wasn’t being clear simply because she wasn’t giving him something to complain about…