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Posts by F. Scott Fitzjesse

God, I keep forgetting this place exists. It’s like Neverland.

1 month ago 0 0 0 0

Only 29 more days until payday.

3 months ago 6 3 0 0

😂😂😂

4 months ago 1 0 0 0

Chernobyl would be a beautiful name for a baby boy conjoined to another baby boy

4 months ago 170 40 7 0

y'all ever order your burritos "extra tight"

4 months ago 438 57 40 4

going on multiple cousin walks and each time coming back with a new cousin

4 months ago 148 10 4 0

I never started.

4 months ago 1 0 0 0

Anyone want to go to of Monsters and Men tonight?

5 months ago 3 0 0 0
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I haven’t been posting lately because looming just outside your window has been taking up too much of my time

5 months ago 158 46 9 0

Bro are you even committed to excellence in serving both your internal and external partners?

5 months ago 1 1 0 0

Women used to love me…back when I was lovely.

5 months ago 0 0 0 0

Yeah I talk to myself. It’s 2025, who gives a shit?

5 months ago 12 5 0 0

I followed you, pay attention to me you monster.

5 months ago 18 9 0 0

Didn’t an oil change used to be like twenty bucks?

5 months ago 4 0 0 0

Me as a therapist: Sweep the leg!

5 months ago 105 41 0 0

spoke with the executive director of my local food bank today and got this really incredible line: "if you donate 1 can of green beans, we can give away 1 can of green beans. but if you donate a dollar, we can give away 6 cans of green beans"

5 months ago 7480 3207 54 119

If the many privileges life bestowed on me, probably psychologically healthy parents had been at the top of the list.
Although it just gives me another thing to feel superior about which is the last thing I need.

5 months ago 4 1 0 0
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Looking good from here.

5 months ago 0 0 0 0

At my age, the older I get, the uglier I'm willing to go out in public.

5 months ago 449 143 25 9

God has not seen fit to fit me for a new suit yet, or ever frankly

2 years ago 4 3 0 0

Goooooooooooogly eye

5 months ago 0 0 0 0

It is now the time of night where we sit on the edge of the bed, burp and eat antacids. NOT AFFILIATED WITH WITH THE SANDWICH ALERT FROM EARLIER.

5 months ago 29 4 0 0

Always the bridesmaid, never the vengeful assassin in a yellow jumpsuit.

5 months ago 55 16 1 0

More than once in this life I’ve found myself wondering how big is the world’s largest googly-eye.

5 months ago 16 6 3 0

It's an effort to halt the flow of time, to hold onto this day we have and not pass into tomorrow. We grind the stream to a standstill and waltz through the annals of a world at rest

5 months ago 24 7 0 0
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I’m on 100% battery ama.

5 months ago 47 16 4 1
treez’s hand holding a small watercolor boomlet that is held up against a wooded area. the watercolor book has a small painting of impressions of the redwoods trees that encircle them in the forest. the painting is quick and rough but gets the idea across. the sky is a pretty blue today

treez’s hand holding a small watercolor boomlet that is held up against a wooded area. the watercolor book has a small painting of impressions of the redwoods trees that encircle them in the forest. the painting is quick and rough but gets the idea across. the sky is a pretty blue today

a little time spent with some watercolor and redwoods

10 months ago 633 76 20 5

Gender reveal: it's a ghost 👻

6 months ago 22 8 0 0

You know what’s crazy is there’s really no place to buy a keychain. They just come on things (lol) and if you have a junk drawer, there may be one or two in there.

6 months ago 1 0 0 0

It’s wild that I went crazy for a couple years and when I snapped back into sanity the entire rest of the world went crazy.

6 months ago 1 1 0 0